Captain Buttbeard's Gaming Corner

CT Special Forces: Back to Hell (Game Boy Advance) Developer: Light & Shadow Production Publisher: Light & Shadow Production Released: 2003 Genre: Run and gun
	2025/08/06
CT Special Forces (Game Boy Advance) Developer: Light & Shadow Production Publisher: Light & Shadow Production Released: 2002 Genre: Run and gun
	2025/07/29
Pursuit Force: Extreme Justice (PlayStation Portable) Developer: Bigbig Studios Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment Released: 2007 Genre: Vehicular combat, third-person shooter
	2025/07/24
Atlantis: The Lost Empire (PlayStation) Developer: Eurocom Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment Released: 2001 Genre: Action-adventure, platformer
	2025/07/21
Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (PlayStation Portable) Developer: Rebellion Developments Publisher: Vivendi Games Released: 2007 Genre: Action
	2025/07/17
Dead Head Fred (PlayStation Portable) Developer: Vicious Cycle Software Publisher: D3 Publisher Released: 2007 Genre: Action-adventure
	2025/07/11
Coded Arms: Contagion (PlayStation Portable) Developer: Creat Studios Publisher: Konami Released: 2007 Genre: First-person shooter
	2025/07/08
Toy Story (Mega Drive) Developer: Traveller's Tales Publisher: Disney Interactive Released: 1995 Genre: Platform
	2025/06/26
Ys I & II Chronicles (PlayStation Portable) Developer: Nihon Falcom Publisher: Xseed Games Released: 2011 Genre: Action role-playing
	2025/06/25
World's Scariest Police Chases (PlayStation) Developer: Unique Development Studios Publishers: Activision, Fox Interactive Released: 2001 Genre: Action, driving
	2025/06/19
300: March to Glory (PlayStation Portable) Developer: Collision Studios Publisher: Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment Released: 2007 Genre: Hack and slash
I remember how big of a deal the movie was and all the memes and videos on early YouTube lol, but I only watched it a few years ago lol for some reason I never really cared about it despite liking ancient history, it's just a shitty CGI fest movie. I never read the comic either, I just don't really care about it but cool artstyle I guess. There is no manual online but I found some random latino dude's unboxing video who couldn't even show all of the manual properly the fucking idiot but I could read most of it at least (and the game slowly introduces stuff and at least explains everything). I don't know if it's based on the comic but obviously it has more stuff than just the movie scenes, and the cutscenes are comic book style drawings and they look great. I liked the graphics too, it has a very colorful style. Obviously it's a hack and slash game, you have a sword and a spear with a shield (and later two swords), the spear is needed to break shields and you can throw it too which is insta kill, and you can use your shield to attack and throw too but you gotta collect it again or you'll lose it. There are so many different enemies with different tactics to defeat which was cool, you can knock enemies down and can counterattack if you block at the right time. When a shitton of arrows are fired by the enemy it darkens the sky and you gotta press the buttons to tuck tail and you can't move during it, it damages enemies too which was nice. You get Wrath for kills which fills up your yellow bar, it's needed for powerful attacks. You can use Battle Skills if you have enough Wrath, Fortitude regenerates health, Blood Drunk increases damage, Defense defends all attacks, and Eye of the Warlord slows down time. The XP is called Kleos here, you can use it to upgrade and buy new combos, weapons and armor and shit and they actually look different. The collectible is this yellow symbol called Lambda and there are 4 of them on every level, it immediately restores health and maxes out your Wrath. And you aren't alone, your soldiers fight with you and there are some segments where you are in a phalanx formation with your army and gotta move forward like that, you have a bar that represents the unit's health and it's constantly draining so you gotta keep killing to recharge it, sometimes you need to push enemies back and break their shields and fight war elephants here too lol, there is also a dome phalanx part near the end that only happens once lol where you use the analog stick to stab enemies out of that shield dome. Sometimes you can interact with the environment like push wall down or climb up on walls, and in a temple there was a puzzle too but it's literally the only one in the game lol. There are some stealth parts too but they're optional, and of course there are boss fights and they have blue and red attacks you can't block. The last chapter is actually after they die and it's a giant battle with all the Greeks and you're playing as the dude who survived. I went back to get the Lambdas I missed but I literally couldn't get that fucking shooting one in the camp eh whatever, they unlock film stills, cutscene pics, storyboards, concept arts, and there are also movie trailers and interviews with Frank Miller recorded for this game which is crazy lol. It got bad reviews but actually I liked it, it's a perfectly serviceable hack and slash. I think people didn't like that there are only just a handful of characters on screen and it doesn't have big battles but it's a fucking handheld game what did they expect lmao.	2025/06/12
Heart of the Alien: Out of this World Parts I and II (Mega CD) Developer: Interplay Productions Publisher: Virgin Interactive Entertainment Released: 1994 Genre: Platform
So I played Prince of Persia when I was young probably in the 90s, it was the first cinematic platformer I think. I heard of Another World too relatively early I think, it's very similar just doesn't have the same looking boring areas lol. I thought it looks good and I wanted to try some of these cinematic platformers, and with how I played these 2D games last year by saving every second I could actually finish them lol. This version is technically the sequel that was only released on Mega CD (under the system's shitty US name lol) but they also added the first game with better music. So in Another World this dude who looks young lol but apparently he's a professor arrives to his lab in a cool sports car to do some particle accelerator experiment when a lightning strikes and it teleports him to this cool blue alien world. Damn the artstyle is really cool it feels like painted and not the usual pixelated shit, and the sound and music are really cool. And man this shit is like Dragon's Lair or whatever those games were where you have to react instantly or you will die from everything lmao. Like fucking tentacles kill you or some worms and that's only the start of the game, when you go right a beast shows up have to run away from it or it kills you too but you gotta react insanely quicky to jump on some vines and run back till aliens kill it then shoot you too lol, and that was like the first minute that took me forever. The 3 buttons are kick, run and jump and when you die you get a password for that segment so you don't have to restart the game from the beginning but there is no way I could've completed any segment without saving every second lmao. You end up in a cage with another alien and you escape together, you get a laser pisol you can charge and create a shield with it, it can run out of laser too but there are energy rooms where you can recharge it but if you miss it you're fucked. And that applies to other things too like some doors are only open for a few seconds, you're supposed to retry everything for ages until you figure it out but fuck that shit lmao it would have been impossible without saving especially with enemies when you gotta react in nanoseconds to put up a shield and shit. There are teleporters you can use to go up or down, and you get separated from the alien when you get in some shaft and then you see him sometimes on another part of the level running away from enemies (I love this kind of fantasy scifi world setting, man the 80s had a ton of these wtf happened to this genre). That part in the cave was the worst with falling rocks and shit where you gotta use the water to push some platform up but you gotta run through that entire area when it's flooding. There are some cool details too like this green globe where you see the reflection of the guard somewhere down there and you gotta shoot it at the right time to drop it on his head, and sometimes you gotta let certain enemies do something to progress like a grenade blasts a hole and if you kill him too early you can't progress. You get a vehicle segment too where you gotta press a bunch of buttons (Jesus how the fuck would anyone figure out what to press) which ejects some capsule and crashes into some bath where alien naked chicks are bathing lmao. Dude gets injured and crawls around and the alien jumps on a flying dino and escapes with him and that's the ending lol. The sequel is called Heart of the Alien and it starts right away as they arrive at the ruins of the alien's village and you play as him here and see what happened as flashbacks, how he got captured and what did he do while you weren't fighting together. But it's essentially the same game except you can't seem to crouch, you find a whip which is also like the pistol as you can charge it with laser lol and you can use it to swing over platforms huh. And Jesus there are so many more ways to die here, like acid waters, gas on elevator rides where you gotta go up and down like crazy to avoid them. It has longer cutscenes though and the dude is back too lol I don't know how he got there cause you left him in the village injured. You can pick up some items which are apparently for a bomb but how was I supposed to know that without a guide lol. At the end you fight that evil alien boss with whipping him down where a beast kills him and alien prisoners burn the whole fortress down and rebuild his village. So people fucking hated this game because the human dies and the alien dude cremates him but my god who gives a shit, it's not bad people are just butthurt for no reason, yeah it's not that good as the first one but it's still ok. The first one is really impressive for game from 1991 and the sequel is more of the same just not as good with more bullshit deaths, but there is no way I would have ever finished either of them even if I was playing both every single day since the 90s lmao I don't understand how people could beat these fucking games back then.	2025/06/09
The Punisher (Xbox) Developer: Volition Publisher: THQ Released: 2005 Genre: Action-adventure, third-person shooter
I was looking forward to this game, I heard of the comic maybe when I was in elementary school cause my classmate had violent comics like Spawn and shit lol. I finally watched the movie (the extended cut) before playing the game and it was alright, a bit goofy unlike those so serious current shitty comic films, and the actor who played Punisher voiced him in the game too. I heard it was too violent so they censored it lmao and made executions black and white but there is an uncensored patch so I installed that. It was made by the Red Faction devs huh, the menu is Punisher's room, he has an armory where you can view your weapons which slowly unlock (he says their description too), it even has that futuristic weapon from Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon 2 and Soldier of Fortune II: Double Helix, and a P90 hell yeah. You can also see pics of the criminals later and newspaper articles after your missions (of course they paint you as the villain). It starts with you being caught and during the interrogation you slowly learn what led to that by playing through missions. The graphics look really nice with that awesome shithole New York aesthetic and the game is very much like Max Payne, you can dive the same way just without bullet time. You can dual wield weapons too even rifles lmao but you can't collect ammo for the second one so it will be dropped when it runs out of bullets, and you can also use melee weapons and objects like a TV lol. You can grab enemies and use them as shield or quick kill them (some of these are hilarious like he taps their shoulder and when they turn around boom right in the head lmao), or interrogate with different ways like choke, punch and there are environmental ones too, you do these by using the analog stick to put pressure on them and keep it in the orange bar, you can decide to kill them but if you do that it takes away points eh but after the interrogation you can just quick kill them and that gives you points lol makes no sense. Anyway interrogation restores health and can give you info, sometimes they show you the way or reveal a secret room. There are special kills too at some places marked by an orange icon, you take an enemy there to kill him in a cool way using the environment. Some of these interrogations and kills were hilarious, like using a toilet, acid, a saw machine, a shark lmao, closing a coffin after you throw a grenade in there, they were so brutal and fucking awesome without the censorship. You can talk to civilians after saving them (subtitles are like comic panels in the upper corner), sometimes they give you shit too or join you if they're guards. All these stuff gives you upgrade points you can use and get more armor, ammo, longer Slaughter mode etc. You can enter Slaughter mode when you have enough blue bar, things turn kinda black and white and you regain health with kills but you can't use your weapons only throwing knives but you can do lots of quick kills, you also take less damage and move faster. You have mostly 3 groups of enemies, the Italian and the Russki mafia and the Yakuza. Besides the usual shithole places you go through a zoo (where you can kill a dude on a rhino's horn lmao), a fucking funeral home where you hide in the coffin and you get up and massacre everyone lol so cool, you even have that fight with that giant Russian in your apartment lmao like in the movie, some island that looks like a jungle, Stark Tower, the Yakuza HQ where you kill the boss with a katana lmao. Some comic characters I know show up too to help you like Black Widow, Nick Fury, Ironman, and Daredevil is your lawyer lol, there are also some villains but I only knew Bullseye and Kingpin and of course some of them are the boss fights. It has another connection to the movie as Jigsaw is the son of the bad guy from there, and as you find out you wanted to get caught cause he is in that prison (lol at this level, you can execute some serial killer in an electric chair lmao). At the end of missions you get medals based on how much points you got and what difficulty you played on (normal can only get silver and bronze), but you need to get silver to unlock shit eh so I just downloaded a save with everything unlocked, like cutscenes, trailer of the movie and Full Spectrum Warrior, concept arts, flashback pics you can get for random interrogations, comic covers and cheats (and the end credits had videos of bugs and other funny gameplay moments lol). There are two other modes, silver medal unlocks Challenge mode where you gotta complete the missions with set of conditions like time or weapons, and gold medal unlocks Punishment mode which is the usual waves of enemies in some closed areas. It was really good like Max Payne just without bullet time, it's violent with so much gore lmao I loved it, and I started reading Punisher comics now too eh there is so much to read (holy fuck those Frank Miller Daredevil comics with him are so good).	2025/06/01
Rising Zan: The Samurai Gunman (PlayStation) Developer: UEP Systems Publisher: Agetec Released: 1999 Genre: Action-adventure
I heard of this a few years ago, it sounded insane with a samurai dude in the Wild West and that intro music was awesome lmao, there is also a PlayStation 2 game similar to this that I want to play too. This is the only game I can't play on PlayStation 2 because it's larger than my original disc eh and the emulator doesn't work, I had it on my PlayStation Portable but I wasn't sure about playing there because of the controls so it was time to use the PlayStation 3 again. This dude Johnny got defeated and was found by his dad's Japanese friend and he went back with him to Japan and learned the samurai way lol, wielding a katana in one hand and a gun in another. You get a really detailed training thank god, some of the moves were crazy like hitting back ranged attacks or using the sword like a helicopter for long jumps lol. The camera fucking sucks but you can lock on to enemies and if you attack it will always land on them. You have a bunch of different special attacks like charge, sweep or somersault but you gotta press the direction button combo first before the attack button. The gun isn't as powerful as the katana and you can't move while you fire, but it has a special attack too that fires really fast. These all need energy from your blue bar but it slowly recharges. There are finisher moves too where you gotta press all the fucking buttons lmao then keep attacking as much as you can before the time runs out and you get a rank too but I was so fucking slow I almost always got the worst one eh. You also have to do that for those stupid all button events like when a giant fucking bomb lands on you lmao and you need to fill up a bar in time but I could barely do it eh at least you won't die just lose some health. So the area you're from was overrun by this evil Japanese group lol what are they even doing there, they have these straw man enemies lmao, ninjas, sumo wrestlers etc and so many crazy bosses and they all speak some gibberish Japanese. The dude calls himself Super Ultra Sexy Hero Zan lmao and he gets offended when people recognize him and call him by his real name (lol at the sheriff chick wearing a bikini with a star on her top). Levels can be quite long so I only played one per day. They have a lot of wacky machines, like you get fired out of cannon lol, there are flamethrower machines to jump over, moving platforms to jump on so it ain't just fighting. Sometimes there are timed segments but they were almost impossible eh. There are cowboys too you can rescue and they're only wearing underwear and a hat lmao. You can find pickups in crates, health is Japanese food or American fast food lmao, you can get special bullets for you gun and spirit balls, the blue increases the special attack bar I guess and the red gives you extra life if you die. If you got enough kills you can get into Hustle Time which makes your sword really long and you fight really fast and your special attacks don't cost energy, you can press the button 3 times if you have all three levels of it to make it last longer. Besides your town there are a bunch of stupid locations like a moving train with tons of traps and timed shit and a robot boss, you ride a minecart in a goldmine lol, a Japanese theater whith plays (one of them is with your impostor lol), sometimes with stupid tasks like playing baseball with your sword lol or that fucking slot machine god it took forever. But god the controls were terrible, you can't use the analog stick and the D-pad at the same time and movement is awful with the D-pad and the combos are impossible with the analog stick. And I'm not kidding this game has by far the worst camera I've ever seen in a game, it took me so many tries to complete levels and by the last 2 it was literally impossible with how fucking dumb and slow I am, my brain couldn't even register the enemy attacks to block them, but the combos sometimes felt impossible to do like they weren't even registering correctly. So I fucking had enough of this shit and just looked up how to use GameShark and finished the last 2 levels with cheats, it fucked up the music though but whatever. You can unlock a new character who is your master's daughter and she has a different play style, and stupid shit like an underwear costume for Zan lol. It's another game I couldn't enjoy because I'm too fucking retarded for this shit but even with that the camera was fucking awful, it's a shame because it would have been a really cool game.	2025/05/29
Robert Ludlum's The Bourne Conspiracy (PlayStation 3) Developer: High Moon Studios Publisher: Vivendi Games Released: 2008 Genre: Action, third-person shooter, stealth
I finally watched the first two movies last year, they were pretty cool I love this spy shit so I might watch the third one this year. Because of the name I thought this game is based on the book but apparently it's based on the movie but you play through some of his past missions too he doesn't remember that apparently they made up for the game. Either way Matt Damon didn't want to add his face and voice because he wanted it to be like Myst lmao what a moron how the fuck would that even work for a Bourne game, well at least the chick is voiced by the actress but her character looks different too. It needed an almost 5 GB install wtf is with this console lol. You start in France and just walking around some street, it looks really cool. The collectibles are passports you can find, you need to find all of them on a level to unlock concept arts, music, cutscenes, and to replay boss fights too I guess. You have this thing called Bourne Instinct which is like that eagle shit in Assassin's Creed lol to see targets, items or objectives. It costs adrenaline, when one tier charges up you can perform a takedown with a QTE which is insta kill, if you have more you can take down multiple enemies (3 max as that's the most tiers you can have). There are a lot of melee fighting, you can punch and kick and they have stronger versions too. Luckily there is regenerating health because I fucking sucked at the combat lol (but you can change the difficulty even if you load up checkpoint after quiting huh), sprint is with R2 which means fucking R1 shooting eh and you can perform a running takedown when you sprint but I could barely ever do it lol, there is also sneak takedown when you are behind the enemies and they haven't noticed you. It has Gears of War cover mechanics lol and you can do shooting takedowns too. Sometimes there is a time limit too and there are some interactive cutscenes with QTEs so you can never relax lol. Boss battles are melee fighting only, you can use the environment with takedowns but they aren't instakill here, but there are so many random QTE parts like literally every couple seconds Jesus. The first couple missions are about that black dude he was supposed to assassinate, how he got on the boat and shit, then you see cutscenes that were in the movie like he goes to Switzerland sleeping on the bench then he gets another flashback of a mission that happened in Switzerland. Then the embassy movie scene, after that you go to Paris and play through that fight in your apartment, and as you look at a Lithuanian passport you get another flashback mission that took place there. In Paris there is a driving mission too lol, this has adrenaline too to slow things down for a moment but I didn't like how the car handled. You fight that dude in the farm too and there is another flashback mission in Paris in a museum with interesting art lol I liked looking at it, but I fucking missed the last passport at the very end fuck off. Things were all a bit different compared to the movie but the end very much so as the final boss here is the assassin who killed your boss. It has built in accomplishments like Dark Sector lol and you unlock cheats after beating the game, I think I unlocked everything I missed with them (I wish it had making of videos but I found the ancient YouTube channel of the studio and they had some videos there). It was alright but it had too much QTE shit and the boss battles were annoying and it had some brutal slowdowns eh but it's a cool game, the movie is much better though.	2025/05/29
Haze (PlayStation 3) Developer: Free Radical Design Publisher: Ubisoft Released: 2008 Genre: First-person shooter
Aka the Halo killer lmao. I never even heard of it until late 2010s, all these FPS games Sony tried to make to compete with Halo like Killzone, Resistance and this one I didn't even know they exist lol I guess that shows how impactful they were but I knew nothing about PlayStation 3 games at all, I paid zero attention to them. This was made by the TimeSplitters devs and those games suck lol but they also made Second Sight which was cool so maybe TimeSplitters: Future Perfect will be good, I will find out soon. It has plenty of controller settings thank god cause the default was retarded R1 shooting. So this Mantel corporation has an army cause national armies are no more and only these mercenary corporations exist, they use this drug called Nectar to boost soldiers' abilities, you have 6 packs and gotta administer it but they recharge and you can take it from other soldiers too, it makes enemies bright yellow to easily see them, your melee attacks become more powerful, you're more resistant to damage (you have regenerating health btw), and it adds a danger indicator for exploding shit. You can overdose too lmao if you administer it above the bar, allied soldiers do that too sometimes and go crazy and start shooting at everything then kill themselves damn, Nectar grenades can overdose you too lol and you lose control over your shooting when it happens. Everything is yellow and shit with beehive aesthetics lmao, the graphics look ok but nothing special but holy shit the texture loading was so fucking slow when you load up a save. So you're being sent to South America to deal with a militia supposedly led by an insane dude who wears the skin of his enemies as coat lmao. Your soldiers are like dudebro parodies lmao but not the cool ones from Gears of War, they were so bad lol. Corpses are disappearing after a few seconds so it might seems like shit but then you realize it's the Nectar doing that, you don't see any blood for the same reason too. Sometimes it's malfunctioning and you start seeing reality, blood and corpses littered everywhere and you hear the screaming, when it gets damaged you hallucinate too. There are vehicle sections too, they clearly wanted to ape Halo lol, there are a lot of huge open levels too (it has a beach too lol), just tons of vehicle sections but they're just not fun here thanks to the shitty handling and controls (fuck those canyons where you avoid explosives). When you or you vehicle is on fire you gotta shake that fucking controller motion shit to put out flames lol but the fire and smoke look so bad. At some point you capture the leader and actually join the rebels after you revolt and your plane crashes, then you see things normally, how your former allies have fucked up skin and eyes from the drug. The rebels have different abilities too, you can steal guns after a melee attack, pretend to be dead by dropping to the ground as they can't see you that way because of the drug, you can create Nectar grenades from dead enemies, scavenge ammo from different type of weapons, put down grenades as land mines, roll away with double tapping X and you can revive rebel soldiers too. They have different vehicles too like that buggy which looks straight out of Halo 3 lol and their own weapons of course, like you have a knife dipped in Nectar lmao. But you can't have the benefits of the drug anymore so no bright enemies and shit eh. There are some fucked up moments though like when you find crates of Mantel soldiers dead from the drug damn, or when they commit mass suicide after you take out the Nectar command lmao. Also lol at the similarities between the two factions near the end, they really wanted to make you think about war and how power can corrupt you and justify what you do but they didn't really do a good job with it, it just ends up being lame as fuck. It actually has bots for offline multiplayer wtf I had no idea I just randomly found out as I checked the menu so I guess will keep it, I downloaded the DLC maps too lol. So it's just ok, it's an average shooter that's obviously nowhere near close to Halo lol.	2025/05/21
Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction (Xbox) Developer: Pandemic Studios Publisher: LucasArts Released: 2005 Genre: Action-adventure
I think I heard of this in the 2000s, it's another game form my beloved Pandemic Studios and essentially a Grand Theft Auto in a warzone which sounded awesome so I always wanted to play it, it was one of the first games I put on my HDD when I upgraded it. Getting ready to play it felt overwhelming though there's so much shit in the manual and in the strategy guide. The story is Korea is almost united, but the North Korean dictator is killed by his evil son who then builds nukes so the allies invade to stop them and they put a bounty on his head so you arrive there as a mercenary. There are different factions besides the allies, South Korea, China, and the Russki mafia and you work for them too. You can choose from 3 characters, I went with the black dude cause he has more health, the Asian chick is stealthier and the Swedish dude is the fastest, they all speak different languages too that can help with factions. Besides the dictator there is also the Deck of 52, which are like poker cards assigned to other targets like officers, scientists and shit like that and you can find the numbered ones on the map and you also get intel to where to find them from doing faction contracts aka missions. There are 4 chapters (2 in the south and 2 in the northern province) and each has 13 cards, every faction has 3 contracts and the first two always gives you intel while in the last ones your objective is to go after a face card, while the allies' third one is always the Ace contract. You can either kill or capture them, capturing pays more but you have to call a helicopter and it can be shot down so it's harder to do. You slowly get more intel as you deal with them and when it reaches a certain amount you get the Ace contract but that means if you haven't finished all allied contracts they'll be gone so it makes sense to start with those, you also don't have to get all the cards but I still captured all of them. Contracts can be simple like killing someone, destroying or capturing shit but there are some different ones like driving around a journalist lol, and sometimes they have bonus objectives which usually unlock shit for you to use. Cause that's the main gimmick of the game, you can order so much stuff and use them for missions or just to fuck around, like all kinds of vehicles, crates like health and ammo, bunch of airstrikes, artillery, laser designated missiles, so much shit lmao and sometimes you get them for free during contracts. You can order them from the Merchant Shop which is like an online store operated by the Russian mafia lmao, you can access it from your PDA where you can also read your emails and view the map and check the cards and the factions status. Factions actually fight each others and a lot of contracts involve destroying their base or killing their soldiers which of course fucks up your status and if it goes down to hostile they'll fire at you lol and you need to bribe them if you want to continue doing missions for them eh. You can disguise yourself by driving a faction's vehicle but officers will notice you or when you damage them, you can also honk and soldiers will hop in the car and man the turret or travel with you. The vehicle controls are weird though, why can't I use the right trigger for gas eh it makes it impossible to use the camera with A, at least bigger vehicles have normal controls but they all have awful physics, I kept falling over or got stuck in everything. There are helicopters too and you can pick up cargo with them and can hijack them if they fly low lol. There are cities of course but they aren't very big but you can destroy every building which is cool, the graphics would be fine but the draw distance is limited with a bad fog eh. There are civilians too but if you kill them you will lose a lot of money and faction status. Besides contracts there are also challenges which are like vehicles and you gotta drive somewhere in time or talk to someone and destroy a certain amount of vehicles, simple shit like that. The collectibles are blueprints (with some stupid shit like Episode VII screenplay lmao or Death Star plans), national treasures, and monuments and listening posts you need to destroy, they increase a certain faction's status and can unlock new items and cheats too (like there is a cheat crate with portable airstrike lol). I tried to collect everything and do all challenges but I had enough because it's such a slow game it takes fucking forever and I've always wanted to play the next game and I needed enough time before the heat starts. It's bad enough that some of the fucking cards were in such a bullshit place too, by the last chapter I realized I could slowly chase them out disguised as North Korean lmao and capture them without a million fucking tanks and shit firing at me. And holy fuck the final mission, it was so insanely impossible I just had to cheat because I would have never finished it. You're supposed to get different endings based on which faction had the highest status, I wanted South Korea because I want them to unite so I killed some other factions lol and it's fucking nothing eh just a few seconds of clip with a different line, what a fucking joke. Oh and you can't even go back after the credits to continue playing, great. Honestly it was disappointing I expected something great, the contracts were fun but hunting for cards and shit was awful and you only get good vehicles by the end eh, it felt empty and way too long and frustrating, but it's still a good game though.	2025/05/20
T'ai Fu: Wrath of the Tiger (PlayStation) Developer: DreamWorks Interactive Publisher: Activision Released: 1999 Genre: Action, platformer
I actually tried to play this last summer on my PlayStation Portable cause I thought it would be the perfect game for it but it's broken there, the emulator on PlayStation 2 doesn't work either and it's the kind of game I would never burn a disc for. But this is where the PlayStation 3 comes in handy as it works there, so between these 3 I could play everything lol, I heard you can upscale it to HD and turn on smoothing and shit but that means more input lag so nope thanks. I think I heard of it a few years ago in that old console magazine, the reason why it was noticable cause it's literally Kung Fu Panda from DreamWorks like a decade earlier with the same producer or someone like that who worked on both of them lmao (never seen that though I was too old when it came out). The story is this last evil dragon wants to take over China and he destroys the tiger clan and you play as T'ai Fu who is the last survivor and you journey through China to take revenge. And damn it looks awful on LED TV eh, so I tried it with the PlayStation 2 cable on my CRT TV and it was so much better lol even though it's 480i not 240p. It's kinda isometric though eh or shows it from the side, you can't move the camera so it auto gives the angle it thinks it's the best. There are jade pieces to pick up and you get a life after 100 of them and after every 25 enemies you killed too, and of course there are life pickups as a tiger symbol and health sometimes too thank god, and invisibility or invincibility scrolls while the gold coin is where you end the level, most of them were short enough and linear with a few checkpoints. You can only save after levels and he walks through the world map to get to the next level but you can't go back to replay them or pick a different one. Levels are like cliffs and hills, temples and fortresses, and they have tons of platforming but jumping sucks, you gotta jump at like the very last pixel to make it eh, also there are jumping pads to jump higher places, but the 3D here is so weird and the camera angles can be so bad that I kept jumping to the wrong places, and with all those fucking spike pits and chasms in some places it was a nightmare. Well at least you can pick up and throw down enemies too, the combat seems easy first but as you journey through China you meet new clans and you learn their moves, like dashing and bigger jumps from leopards, rolling move from monkeys (they live in an Ewok style village lol), hovering from cranes, and obviously you gotta use these moves to progress but this is when the game stopped being fun and turned into a frustrating mess because of the god awful jumping sections. The worst thing is sometimes it doesn't even register a lot of the moves correctly so I also died a lot because of that shit. There are boss fights too usually with the clan leaders (the monkey boss is like a drunken master lmao), after the first one you learn chi attack which is like magic and it makes the combat somewhat easier, you can power it up by doing combos or energy pickups, and there are different elemental scrolls that change it like earth, fire, water etc. I genuinely started hating this piece of fucking shit game around the harbor level, those boar clan levels were even worse, but the entire fucking console crashed on the brutal last level lmao fuck off, apparently because of the emulator and I found out there is another one you can switch to lol how the fuck this works, it played with that one fine. But fuck the final boss my god, it took me two days to beat that shit. You get concept arts during the end credits but that's it, the first half was too simple and the second half just fucking ruined the entire game with the insane jumps and enemies, seriously fuck this game.	2025/05/17
Dark Sector (PlayStation 3) Developer: Digital Extremes Publisher: D3 Publisher Released: 2008 Genre: Third-person shooter
I heard of this a few years ago, I thought about playing it on Xbox 360 but the reviews didn't really satisfy me and I thought that throwing weapon would be annoying. Some agent is sent to this Russki shithole where a virus broke out and the agency scientist there went insane and didn't come back so you're there to eliminate him. It has fucking R1 shooting you can't change fuck off and as usual the aiming sucks because of the controller. The first level was black and white huh cool and the dude is wearing a mask so you can't see how he looks at first, but it quickly became obvious that this game is literally Gears of War lmao, same camera, same controls, sprinting is the same, the way he takes cover and vaults over it lmao, you gotta pick up weapons and ammo mannually too, even the locations look similar too with the same color palette. You can't blind fire out of cover though and you can only carry 2 weapons, a pistol or a machine gun, shotgun, sniper, RPG etc and you can shoot grenades in the air to kill soldiers lol. Some armored mutant thing shows up, the armor has similar aesthethics as Warframe (I actually played that game when it came out for like a few hours before it bored me to death) and you get infected and that's when the game gets color, your right arm is all fucked up and some glaive materializes in it lol. Enemy weapons have a lock so after you get infected you can only use them for a few seconds before they stop working, but mostly you're gonna use the glaive after that (I got so used to it that I forgot I could just kill distant enemies with my rifle lmao). You can decapitate them lol or cut limbs off and they scream like crazy lmao, you can use a pistol at the same time too but two handed weapons dematerialize it. You can charge up the glaive with different energies, electricity, ice, fire and use it to open doors and shit and kill enemies, put out fire, freeze water, lots of cool shit you can do. You get abilities too as they slowly activate, Steal can bring items and weapons to you with the glaive, Power Throw is obvious lol it's stronger, After Touch can control it slow motion after you throw it like in Heavenly Sword, Shield you can activate and it deflects bullets too, Energy Pulse explodes the glaive when it's charged with energy and Shift makes you invisible. You can find money and hidden weapon upgrades which you can use in the black market at these manholes, you can add upgrades like more firepower or ammo but you need to find those specific upgrades they aren't just generic points, and can also buy or sell and store weapons there too. You aren't just fighting soldiers, this virus turned most people into zombies but somehow you're immune to it, you see these yellow bags everywhere which I assume are filled with corpses lol cool. Later there are some advanced zombies too that can fire at you and big armored soldiers, and fucking Russki walking mechs lol cool, you even hijack it once for a ride lmao nice, it can fire flares to distract rockets firing at you. There is melee combat too but mostly I just used the finisher move when the enemy is stunned or hasn't noticed you yet. You often have to use the glaive to reach places you can't get to, activate switches and shit, and there is this black goo around some places you need to destroy with fire to progress. You get that Warframe armor later lmao, you take less damage and health recovers faster, it protects against gas grenades too and you can pick up the armored dudes' minigun. There are boss fights with giant monsters lol but there are no checkpoints between their stages eh, the final boss inside that vault (Akira and F.E.A.R. vibes) was the easiest lol. It had multiplayer but online only so who cares, and there are no unlockables eh, it has built in achievements though called entitlements lol but no trophies. Yeah it was cool, another Gears of War clone just without a great story, it would have been fine on Xbox 360 too I guess.	2025/05/12
Syphon Filter 3 (PlayStation) Developer: Sony Bend Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment Released: 2001 Genre: Third-person shooter
I wanted to burn this on CD and wait till the end of the year to play it, but the next PlayStation 2 game was .hack//OUTBREAK and it's too soon to play it plus I wouldn't finish it before summer so I decided to spend the remaining time playing PlayStation games. I found out some South American made a bunch of patches to POPStarter games to fix their issues so I decided to test it with this one cause based on what I read it's more like a best of with random missions than a proper sequel (well that wasn't exactly true). I rewatched the cutscenes of Syphon Filter 2 and read the plot of the first one again, man these games have such a complicated story. The menu is still the same lol and there are still no subtitles eh but they finally added CGI cutscenes, this takes place soon after the second game too lmao, there is a Senate hearing and you play through of their confessions and retellings of what lead to this, how they got in the agency, how they're trying to stop the virus etc. Like they went to Japan to kill that Chinese general who wanted to buy the virus in Syphon Filter 2 (Gabe is wearing white suit lol) or you play the Costa Rica mission that you only saw in the first game's intro (which ends on a plane and you gotta shoot armored Rhoemer out lol kinda like a boss fight but short). I guess the graphics look better especially the faces but it's hard to tell with these games, but I feel like the framerate is better, everything just feels smoother especially the aiming, but holy hell it's still hard I could barely do the first sniping segment. There are some new things though like these bonus tasks you can accomplish that aren't objectives like saving someone before he gets shot and he gives you a weapon or unlocks a map in multiplayer, you can use a mine detector sometimes, a weapon that fires through walls and you can see through them with the scope huh cool, and I think that's about it for new stuff lmao it still feels like you are playing the same game. You can save and quit at checkpoints, but I think Syphon Filter 2 had that too I'm not sure, but when I loaded a checkpoint it was broken, Lian kept dying and enemies didn't appear so I restarted the mission then it worked, then some other checkpoint didn't spawn the enemies correctly, and the game still like froze for a second sometimes or the audio was a bit late, so much for this shitty fix it literally only fixes game breaking bugs that prevents you from playing the game eh, never falling for this shit again. So it kinda randomly switches between characters, like that African dude from the second game telling how he got involved with the agency freeing slaves from a gold mine and riding a minecart lol. Or what Lian was doing in Kabul when working for China to stop the Soviet occupation (it's cool to see that location, I would love to see the ancient ruins of Bactria but those fucking religious lunatics ruined that country forever), how she met Gabe when he was just a soldier (and I guess that Russki general), or she gives her perspective of the Costa Rica mission where she was in an ancient temple. Or how Gabe met his agency boss in Afghanistan fighting Afghan rebels in the Soviet era (Jesus fuck that canyon part it was insane). While someone testifies someone else is actually on a few missions, Gabe is with MI6 in Ireland trying to destroy a ship with a shipment of the virus then trucks loaded with them and find out who is behind the agency, or Lian following the evidence they found and goes to the Australian Outback where the virus is being tested and manufactured. That other chick who died in the previous game is actually still alive and you play through her ATF memories, how she met Gabe in a Ruby Ridge sort of situation with a crashed satellite in a snowy forest and a compound (I love these levels even though they were hard, it's the kind of conspiracy thing I talked about after the first game, militias thinking the government's gonna get them lol instead we have retarded boomers now who OD on Russki propaganda eh). As you can tell the problem is it's all over the place without a coherent story and a lot of times just feels like random flashbacks, but that doesn't make the levels badly designed and it's still a good game. Also lmao at how the hearing ends, you end up chasing Mara through a subway car and headshot her with that X-ray sniper (she doesn't die of course lol), Gabe becomes the agency chief, but that credits cutscene shows it's not the end of the virus. There's a new game mode though called Mini Game which is basically challenges, Assassin is kill targets without detection, Thief is steal a briefcase and return it without detection, Elimination is just kill all enemies, Demolition is like the subway in the first game when you find bombs and escort and protect the bomb diffuser, and Biathlon I didn't even unlock apparently you can only fire from specific positions. You can select the difficulty here but you gotta complete them before unlocking the next difficulty, and have characters like a bag lady lmao or Chance in armor, and the maps you unlocked are from the previous games. I only cared for Elimination cause it's like multiplayer with bots, I might keep the game for that, most of the others had time limits or just sucked. Yeah honestly it's cool and all but the lack of coherent story doesn't make it that good even though the gameplay and levels are probably the best here and maybe the least frustrating too, but it's really like one game in three lmao they all play and feel the same. The next game is on PlayStation 2 but I heard the controls are the same with lockon wtf.	2025/05/05
Lost: The Video Game (PlayStation 3) Developer: Ubisoft Montreal Publisher: Ubisoft Released: 2008 Genre: Action-adventure
Also known as Lost: Via Domus outside the civilized world. I loved the show, well the first 2 seasons anyway, the 3rd was just ok and the rest was fucking teribble and ruined everything, they killed all the mystery with a bunch of bullshit explanations, the creators clearly had no idea what to do. I wanted to play this game too lol on PC cause I kept seeing it in stores but I just assumed it's shit. It starts just like the series, he plane breaks half then the show's intro starts nice, you are playing as some amnesiac dude they created for the game and you wake up in the jungle. The graphics look fine and the music is from the show so it's great. So you are walking through the jungle (which is actually very linear), following Vincent the dog lol to lead you to the beach where the crash site is, and you can talk to the characters from the show (most of them are not voiced by their actors but they look like them at least), they have different topics like quest, general questions, and you can trade with some of them too with the items you pick up which are mostly fruits or water bottles lol. Some conversations and items can trigger a flashback scene, you see a torn up photo and need to take a pic with your camera at the right moment when it happens to remember, you can then walk around and interact with items inside the memory to remember more details. There are also these fuse panel puzzles that you need solve a bunch of times, you gotta add fuses and rotate them to get the right voltage, it would've been a nightmare without a guide for a retard like me lol. The chapters end like an episode of the show, and when the next starts you get a Previously on Lost recap too lmao so cool. You play through the first 2 seasons of the show thank god but some places and characters show up from season 3 too. You navigate through the jungle to reach other areas by interacting with stuff that points to next the location, first it's the debris, later by Locke's markings on the trees then by following a compass. Sometimes you gotta hide from the Smoke Monster too in the trees (which they fucking ruined in the show with a fucking retarded explanation, it's clearly not what it was supposed to be) and there are some on-rails segments too where you run away from it ducking and jumping over shit, and The Others are also in the game and they can be shooting at you too from trees (who they also ruined, they should have stayed these insane evil people instead of just a bunch of idiots living in a small town). There are dark areas like caves where you need a light source like torches to get through, they have a bar that slowly depletes and water and bats can put it out so you need to extinguish it for a moment or else you'll lose most of the bar and then you're fucked. You can find so many shit from the show, the corpse of the polar bear lol, the hatch, you can find the famous numbers on the beach like on a crate or debris and if you examine them in order you'll be teleported to the medical station, you will go inside the Swan station omg that was my favorite thing about the series, I would have loved to live there lol (it's insane but my dream is to live in a bunker lmao), you gotta enter the numbers too man so cool. You can find the van too and go to the Black Rock ship for dynamite and you can't run with it so avoiding the fucking Smoke Monster was a nightmare. You need to buy a gun too but I barely ever use it, and you have to do some fucking IQ tests on those old computers wtf lmao thank god for guides, you also find a station that wasn't in the series with a giant generator. And there is the Pearl station you can go to with some hidden object interaction, the Flame station with the one eyed Russki, and the Hydra station. So basically the end is like another attempt to capture Jack before the end of season 2 and they would let you leave but you save him and steal the boat. By that time you found out you were a reporter investigating some criminal and your girlfriend died because of you, but when the ending happens you wake up again after the crash and she is alive and there with you lmao wtf was that. The unlockables are concept arts and you get them by taking photos but they were kinda lame eh. You know what, I know it's not good on a technical level but fuck it I could walk around my favorite locations and it felt like I'm in the show so I liked it.	2025/04/28

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