| Currently playing |
PlayStation
2: Silent Hill 3 Xbox: Phantom Crash; Arx Fatalis Xbox 360: Earth Defense Force 2025 |
| Uncharted: Drake's
Fortune (PlayStation 3) Developer: Naughty Dog Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment Released: 2007 Genre: Action-adventure, third-person shooter |
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| 2025/03/26 |
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| Ape Escape 2
(PlayStation
2) Developer: Sony Computer Entertainment Japan Publisher: Ubi Soft Released: 2003 Genre: Platform, action-adventure |
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| 2025/03/16 |
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| Kane & Lynch:
Dead Men (PlayStation 3) Developer: IO Interactive Publisher: Eidos Interactive Released: 2007 Genre: Third-person shooter |
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| 2025/03/12 |
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| Soldier of Fortune
II: Double Helix (Xbox) Developers: Raven Software, Gratuitous Games Publisher: Activision Released: 2003 Genre: First-person shooter |
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| 2025/03/09 |
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| The Outfit
(Xbox
360) Developer: Relic Entertainment Publisher: THQ Released: 2006 Genre: Third-person shooter |
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| 2025/03/04 |
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| Naval Ops: Warship
Gunner (PlayStation
2) Developer: Microcabin Publisher: Koei Released: 2003 Genre: Vehicle simulation game |
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| 2025/02/25 |
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| Blood Omen 2
(Xbox) Developers: Crystal Dynamics, Nixxes Software Publisher: Eidos Interactive Released: 2002 Genre: Action-adventure |
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| 2025/02/21 |
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| Condemned (Xbox
360) Developer: Monolith Productions Publisher: Sega Released: 2005 Genre: Survival horror, action |
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| 2025/02/20 |
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| RTX Red Rock
(PlayStation
2) Developer: LucasArts Publisher: LucasArts Released: 2003 Genre: Action-adventure |
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| 2025/02/10 |
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| Call of Juarez
(Xbox
360) Developer: Techland Publisher: Ubisoft Released: 2007 Genre: First-person shooter |
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| 2025/02/09 |
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| MechAssault 2: Lone
Wolf (Xbox) Developers: Day 1 Studios, FASA Studio Publisher: Microsoft Game Studios Released: 2004 Genre: Third-person shooter |
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| 2025/01/29 |
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| Clive Barker's
Jericho (Xbox
360) Developer: MercurySteam Publisher: Codemasters Released: 2007 Genre: First-person shooter |
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| I remember seeing this game in stores and
reading about it in magazines, I thought it looked so cool
I actually almost bought it for PC
lol. So I always wanted to play it but after seeing some
bad reviews I didn't want to waste a DVD, but after I got
that 25 pack Verbatims I changed my mind. I watched
Hellraiser a few years ago which was made by the dude who
wrote the story, the characters looked cool but the movie
was very meh. You are part of the Department of Occult
Warfare agency which is like a paranormal investigating
unit with your squad kinda like F.E.A.R. but
everyone here has powers, apparently god created this
being called Firstborn before humans and then banished it
because it terrified him lol. You're being sent to
Al-Khali with your 7 member Jericho Squad because some
cult took it over, the place is really cool with Sumerian
ruins. You have a primary and secondary weapon with
different firing modes, sometimes you get QTEs fuck you
need to react so fast, but there are infinite retries
thank god. I played on easy cause I heard it's hard and
the friendly AI is dumb, but enemies are still bullet
sponges eh. You play as Captain Ross and his power is
healing dead allies, and your squad members are separated
into Alpha and Omega squads, you can send them separately
to different positions, or give advance all and hold all
commands, but you are alone too sometimes. It's very
linear though, you can only go one way and sometimes the
squads splits up but you can't pick which one to control
or where to go. It has the typical horror music and the
graphics looked really nice and very slimy looking lol
with blood and guts and shit everywhere but the game is
very dark in some places, I had flashlight on most of the
time, it didn't seem to have any limit. Here you have the
dead cultists as enemies, some of them explode lol and
there are flying ones too (these all show up throughout
the game), but a lot of times combat is just waves of
enemies and when they die a bunch of flies eat up their
corpes ew. At the end of this first area your character
actually dies and your squad goes through some breach to
the past, here is where the main gameplay element of the
game happens as your ghost survived and you can possess
your squadmates and use them and you can still use your
healing ability. They all have different weapons and
powers, the sniper chick called Black has a grenade
launcher too and she's telepatic and you can control her
bullet's path to kill more enemies lol, the big native
dude Delgado has a giant machine gun and can unleash a
fire spirit that attacks enemies and lights them on fire
and has a fire shield too, Church is a chick with a tiny
machine gun and a samurai sword and she can use blood
magic to freeze enemies or set them on fire, the autistic
chick Cole has a rifle that can see the weekness points
when you zoom in and has grenades and she can slow down
time, add fire damage to everyone's attack and recharge
everyone's ammo on checkpoints using time warps with chaos
math and shit lol, the priest dude Rawlings has pistols
with different ammo types like explosives and he can heal
too from far and drain enemy health, and Jones who can use
astral projection and can take over enemy bodies to open
doors with inaccessible switches (sometimes by jumping
from bodies to bodies) and he has the same weapons as Ross
had. The powers slowly activate as you play through the
game and they're needed to progress so you switch a lot
between them for different situations. They can be really
stupid though like standing out in the open instead of
moving behind covers. You have files you can unlock about
them or enemies, most would require beating missions on
hard so fuck that but you can get some by killing enemies
with grenades or headshots, but I could read all of them
in the strategy guide lol and you can learn a lot about
their backstories. So you arrive to this thing called The
Box where segments of different time periods are locked
inside, the first one is WW2 with nazi machine gunner
monsters where you learn that anytime the breach opens it
needs 7 people to close it (the nazi one has OSS Brits)
and when it closes it takes a little bit of the place with
it so those dudes are still trapped in there, and no one
can actually die there, if they do the flies make them
serve the Firstborn. There are boss fights too and you
need to use at least one of your squad's special power to
kill them. Next age is the Crusades with Templars lol with
burning skies and blood river around a big castle, with a
gigantic meat monster and fucking ghosts of child
Crusaders (I remember that from history books, apparently
it was bullshit though). Then there is the Roman times
with crucified people everywhere and bathhouses with
shielded legionaries and giant gladiators, the huge fat
cannibal boss makes you fight like a gladiator in an arena
lol. The last location is Sumerian times with the original
city wow it was so big, you gotta reassemble the last good
priest by killing the other 6 to close the breach, these
feel so rushed like they didn't have time to finish the
game so it's kinda like just boss fights after boss fights
but they didn't even have any dialogue. And then the final
level wtf was that lol, they fuck over the Sumerian dude
and decide to fight the Firstborn and it kills some of
your squad (including my favorite autistic girl fuck), and
holy fuck that ending lmao are they serious with this
shit, it just ends lmao not even a proper cliffhanger, I
heard it's sudden and bad but my god wtf is this lmao. So
I looked it up and they left some subtitles in the game
files with the original ending which was totally different
and would have been much better cause they actually
explained shit with a twist, it's pretty obvious based on
the last two locations that they simply ran out of time
eh. You could unlock some bonus codes but only by calling
the publisher on the phone to get the actual codes to
unlock cheats lmao what is this the early 90s? It was
kinda short too but that's fine, either way I liked the
cool story and the concept and the locations but the half
assed executions like enemies just swarming at you and the
dumb AI kinda ruined it, not to mention that ending eh,
but still it was cool. |
2025/01/25 |
| .hack//MUTATION
(PlayStation
2) Developer: CyberConnect2 Publisher: Bandai Released: 2003 Genre: Action role-playing |
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| Luckily I didn't have to wait years to play
the next game, and winter was the perfect time to play a
longer game. As I said you can load up your save from the
first game and continue from there, and it it really is
like the same game lmao I'm not even sure what to write
about, it has same graphics and music and shit (but why
did the voices sound so bad it was like a phonograph lol).
There is a recap at the beginning which is good cause I
forgot a lot of things either way (I watched a video of
the cutscenes too on YouTube). You have all the stuff in
the destkop too like the board messages continue and get
more news with some prediction like the death of printed
magazines. A new thing is flag races where you're racing
with grunties you raised touching flags lol it's literally
impossible, somehow I did the first beating all 3 times
but on the previous server with the wooden planks it's
impossible. There is a new type of data drain called Drain
Arc which can drain multiple enemies at the same time now
thank god. The cutscenes seem to be more cinematic with
more things happening, you have a confrontation with the
admins and make a non aggression pact lol, he poses as a
shop NPC and you gotta report to him and he sends you out
to investigate. There is a new server you can go to where
the city is like a cool night town, and of course you can
go back to the previous locations too. There are new virus
cores too of course, new party members, new grunty types
like some fucking snake one lmao wtf or a skeleton, and
also some new scroll type to summon elemental enemies I
guess, I don't even know if these were in the first game.
The goblin chases are different though, they won't stand
still when you use skills eh. Not that far into the game
there is another giant boss fight like the final boss was
in the first one huh, then another one later wtf. It seems
like you gotta put the AI girl back together like in the
book but I'm guess that's gonna be in the next games. This
one felt easier too, there are less 5 floor dungeons and
most of them have just 3 thank fucking god. You can also
see the anime characters talking on the board so cool,
actually they show up in dungeons too, then you find them
again at that church and see these flashbacks from the
anime recreated inside the game and get items for watching
them. You gotta find some information about the book the
game was based on, and you end up in Net Slum from the
anime which looks like some ruined modern city where
hackers go, it has all kinds of weird player characters
lol, a monitor head, smiley heads, a 2D one lol, with some
previous players who don't even have bodies anymore. The
final boss felt easier than in the first game, and it ends
with the towns becoming infected too damn. It also has an
extra boss which was in the skies, it looked nice. I think
I finished it faster like it only took a month because of
the shorter dungeons and there's less extra shit to hunt.
I watched the next anime episode too, wtf was going on lol
the previous one was easy to follow this had nothing to do
with anything lmao just some girl stuck in a mall eh. I
know these are technically the same games so I don't
expect any changes in the next one, but I still think it's
better this way, I can't imagine playing these as one long
ass game for months, it would bore me to fucking death. |
2025/01/23 |
| Prince of Persia:
Warrior Within (Xbox) Developer: Ubisoft Montreal Publisher: Ubisoft Released: 2004 Genre: Action-adventure, platform, hack and slash |
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| I remember thinking this game looks cool
but it's so dark and edgy lmao, even the strategy guide I
found is scanned so darkly lmao, it's a shame that magical
Arabian aesthetic is gone though (I can't believe it took
this long to get to this game eh). I rewatched the
cutscenes and dialogues of the previous game to make sure
I remember everything and because I could barely hear
anything while playing it, thank god this one finally has
subtitles. I watched the trailers in the video gallery
first (they have some from the previous game too) and the
new combat presentation. The Prince has a new voice though
eh I liked the old one better, his ship gets attacked by
sand creatures and a girl walks out while they do a close
up on her ass lol nice. You don't have the dagger anymore
of course so you can pick up any weapon and use it and can
throw it too but they deteriorate over time, there are
maces, other swords, daggers, axes etc. Fucking metal
music plays during combat lol and man it's so much more
acrobatic, you can swing on poles cutting through enemies
or jump all over them. You automatically collect sand and
there is no need to finish like with the dagger anymore,
water still recharges health and you can drink from
puddles now too. And yeah this game was so fucking hard I
had to restart on easy, I couldn't even finish the first
tutorial level lmao. You get a flashback of the Prince
talking to this old sage who tells him where the sands
were created, cause this shadow monster called Dahaka is
chasing him because he changed time and reversed what
happened in the previous game, so you travelled to the
Island of Time to travel back in time and stop the sand
from ever being created. You wake up on the shores after
they sank your ship and fight crows with a stick lol, this
was like an acrobatic tutorial level. You have a map now
but it's kinda pointless it just shows the entire island.
You can find hidden chests and they unlock concept art,
and you can only save at specific fountains. You get new
swords too but you don't have to find them you just get
them automatically as you progress. There are no future
scenes anymore cause you don't have the dagger, apparently
he kept Farah's medal and that gives him the time powers.
You don't only have sand enemies, there are some shadow
monsters and human enemies too, or a brute which is a
giant armored enemy and you gotta climb up on his back and
hit his head to kill him, and shit like exploding spiky
wolves lol, and also a lot more boss fights like some crow
master you fight a bunch of times. This game has some
really brutal executions like decapitating or cutting
enemies in half lol (you don't get anything out of fights
besides weapons though so you can just skip them if you
can). There are these portals where you can travel between
the past and present, like sometimes it's all ruins in the
present and the traps don't work but in the past they do
and that's the only way you can progress between areas by
traveling through timelines (you gotta activate the
portals with switches too and it's always random eh but
it's only 4 so whatever, it's a waste of time though). I
think the puzzle rooms don't feel that enormous as in Prince
of
Persia:
The
Sands
of Time, it's more like you
have more smaller ones here but I could be wrong, you can
also slide down tapestry and swing and climb on ropes, I
don't remeber if they were in the previous game or not.
You meet a girl and try to help her, she gives you a sword
that's also a key you can use to rotate the environment
and raise platforms with it in a room to access more
areas, and you can return to previous areas too so it's
kinda open worldy. You can find these hidden hard to get
places too ridden with traps where you can get health
upgrades and you still have your powers too and you slowly
get them as you progress through the game, Eye of the
Storm slows down everything, Breath of Fate is like a
strong ground attack, Ravages of Time turns everything red
lol with brutal fast attacks, Wind of Fate is a stronger
ground attack and Cyclone of Fate is the strongest ground
attack, and of course you get more sand tanks too. The
Dahaka actually followed you here and it creates paths by
destroying shit too, and there are these chase sequences
when you gotta escape it lmao until you get to some water
because it can't pass through it (Jesus fuck the later
ones took forever and were so difficult). Thank god there
are checkpoints before cutscenes, I would lose so much
progress cause fountains are rare sometimes, still some of
the jumps were impossible to get the perspective right and
I kept jumping to wrong places. You are supposed to
activate some mechanism to get to the Empress in the
throne room and stop the creation of the sands, the two
places are some clockwork tower and the garden areas
(which totally looked like Ico). Turns out the
chick was the Empress all along and she fucked you over,
and the Prince was the one who created the sands
accidentally oops, the Mask of the Wraith gives a him a
second chance to travel back and change the past again,
turns out that wraith you kept seeing was you cause it
turns you into one, it recharges sand but it keeps
depleting your health (it makes that griffin boss with
regenerating health really easy to kill). You gotta go all
the way back eh, but you see your past self doing shit and
activiting stuff and that was cool, by this time you get a
sword that can break some walls and find more hidden
weapons that are so dumb like a hockey stick lol, a
flamingo, a teddy bear, a lightsaber lmao. The game has
two endings, you need to get all upgrades and the water
sword at the end to unlock the true ending and final boss
fight. This game was really buggy though like sometimes
the music skipped or in one cutscene I couldn't hear
anything and it froze once too. But the worst is the game
breaking bug which fucking happened to me, it locks you
out literally right before the final boss where I'm
supposed to go through a portal wtf, I tried an earlier
save I took before I went back to the final upgrade to get
both endings and that one was fucked too wtf it ruined the
entire game for me. I just downloaded a save thank god
someone uploaded one right before both endings and also
one with everything unlocked, but it wasn't on easy and it
was fucking impossible for me so I just tried the true
ending with the Dahaka fight and finally I could kill
that, they both sail to Babylon which is under attack
while they fuck on the ship lmao (Monica Bellucci voiced
the Empress, nice). In the other one you fight the Empress
and the Dahaka takes her and the amulet. The unlockables
are videos of enemies, making of video lmao the director
is clearly a metalhead with the same tattoos as the Prince
lol, pics of all characters, environment art,
illustrations with some sexy pics too and pics and stats
of weapons. Now Insignia had the update and DLCs to
download, they're like arena challenges and time attack
modes, no thanks lol. Yeah it was good, the gameplay and
the combat was better but I liked the Arabian Tales
aesthetic more and that bug really made me angry and it
was hard too. I'm looking forward to the next one though,
it looks cool with the different Princes. |
2025/01/21 |
| Assassin's Creed
III (Xbox
360) Developer: Ubisoft Montreal Publisher: Ubisoft Released: 2012 Genre: Action-adventure, stealth |
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| I finally got to the final game of the
trilogy (even though it had more games but whatever lol),
unfortunately I got spoiled ages ago of what happens to
Desmond but I had no idea how. I knew it takes place
during the US independence war, I thought it's a stupid
location with these hooded figures lol and like how the
fuck would colonial America have large cities lol. I found
a strategy guide thank god, and I watched all the trailers
before and read related news on an old website, I should
start doing this with all games. I read the comics that
came out before the release of the game, the one set in
ancient Rome was cool but they used some retared logic
like experiencing the dude's death is impossible lol when
his memory should end when he impregnates someone, then
another two from the Russkie civil war with his templar
dude killing the Assassin leader. The intro explains what
happened so far, then continues right where the last game
ended going in that temple in America. The characters look
good but the shadows are still weird, the controls are
different though, you don't have to press A to climb just
the right trigger and run and climb the way you move the
left stick and you don't have to jump up when climbing big
distances either, everything is automatic. You play this
dude Haytham in the London opera assassinating someone,
then he's sent to America to find the same temple you are
in. Here you already see something new, a lockpicking
minigame where you gotta rotate both sticks then press RT.
You can do a bunch of shit on your ship ride, and can talk
to random people too with proper conversations. You arrive
to Boston and I noticed the most important thing in the
entire game: you can pet animals lmao so fucking cool.
Beggars were replaced by orphan kids lol, and you can
clear the fog on the map around you when you walk through
an area but only that small route so you still gotta use
eagle towers. You meet famous people like Ben Franklin,
you can collect pages he lost but you gotta chase after
them cause they fly away and they unlock his almanacs,
they are so long god just a bunch of bullshit, and you can
talk to him about fucking old women eh gross, later you
can craft his inventions too. You can run through open
doors inside houses and windows now huh, and there is a
slight cover mechanic when you stand around corners and
you automatically hide in bushes and can hide in the back
of moving carts too. Your health auto recharges so you
don't have to deal with potions anymore, and you can use
big muskets (takes forever to reload lol) and you can
avoid firing squads by grabbing a soldier and holding him
as shield lol. Seems like there is dynamic weather and a
thunderstorm can start, and there is winter too with snow
so cool and you walk very slow in big snow (I found a
snowman too lmao). There is another region outside the
city called the Frontier which is like a countryside with
small towns and trading posts and forests where like
wolves can attack and you gotta do this QTE to kill them,
there are all kinds of animals too like rabbits, deers,
racoons etc lmao. You meet young Washington too during the
French and Indian War which I never even heard of, and you
get the first twist as you find out that Haytham dude is
actually a Templar wtf, he fucked the Native chick and now
you are playing as his kid lmao (wtf is this language
using the : symbol as letters lmao, you hear them speak it
instead of English), you play hide and seek as a kid
analyzing clues to find the other children, and your
father's dudes led by Charles Lee find you and they look
evil now and they burn down your village and your mother
dies. So i wondered how the fuck would this work without
big cities, well the Native dude can climb on trees in
forests and run on them like in the cities, eagle points
are big trees with nests lmao pretty cool, you can climb
up giant rocks and mountains too (and actually the cities
aren't small either, guess I thought they still had mostly
wooden houses at that time lmao). And there is hunting
too, you find clues to identify the animal, you can put
snare and bait down lmao it attracts so many animals, then
when you kill them you skin them to collect meat and bones
and shit, some attacks can damage the pelt and it costs
less in trade (some of them are really agressive though,
fuck the cougars and the bears). Turns out the Natives
have an Apple, dude sees a vision where apparently Juno
tries to make sure his life goes the way that can help
Desmond and you play through a trippy eagle flight. Btw I
actually learned a lot about Natives, I knew they had big
cities but I thought they were still just random tribes, I
had no idea they had proper confederations that lasted for
a thousand years wow and with such a democratic government
type. There are these clubs with missions and the usual
challenges, hunting that's pretty self explanatory,
Frontiersman which has like legends you investigate like a
monster was just a dude in a diving suit, an umbrella was
the UFO lmao, Sasquatch was just a dude living in a cave,
but the headless rider was actually true with a
pumpkinhead wtf. Boston Brawlers is a fight club lmao with
a tournament at the end with a crowd that can damage you
too, and there are thief challenges too without missions.
There is a very simple letter delivery sidequest too and
an item list delivery one which is a lot harder to do. It
takes a while till Sequence 5 till the game lets you go
anywhere, you meet an old Assassin dude after spirits told
you to look for him, he gives you a proper English name
Connor lol and trains you and you gotta kill the Templars
and your father. You see or participate in shit like the
Boston Massacre, Boston Tea Party, Paul Revere's Ride etc
which was really cool, Boston also has tunnels underground
for fast travel, it's like a labyrinth where you can
follow rats to get out lol and light up lamps, some of
these are like those obstacle courses from the previous
games just a mini version with puzzles and shit too, like
you gotta use a lantern projector to align symbols, you
can fast travel just by opening the map so you don't have
to go back after unlocking them and there is also fast
travel between regions by ships. There is also Homestead
which is like the town you had in Assassin's Creed II
but you just start with a house (which has your
collectibles), you can recruit people with professions to
live there so it's like town building, they have quests
too and it levels them up making better items and their
story progresses, some get married or get kids and you end
up with a proper community. You can sell what they make
with a trade route which can get attacked and you can go
there to defend it, you need them to craft too you can see
what you can make and who and what resources are needed
for it, you can find more recipes in treasure chests, and
you gotta craft the pouches as you can't buy them anymore
so you need to level up your Homestead people for better
ones. A cool new thing is naval combat, your ship has 2
different speeds and can stop too, you can give command to
fire big cannons with different types of ammo (like you
can use chains to destroy the sails) or just a small
sniper one, the weather and wind has effect on how your
ship handles, and there are naval missions too, and
Privateer Contracts which are short ones that reduce the
risk of trade as there are naval convoys too, and there is
treasure hunting lol that some famous captain hid, you
deliver trinkets to a dude who gives you letters and
locations, these are the usual obstacle courses from
previous games, there is one with the Northwest Passage in
snow it was so cool, or Edinburgh castle in Jamaica (this
was a real thing wtf), the treasure turns out to be an
artifact that's an electromagnetic shield lol it reduces
the chance of being hit by bullets. There are forts you
can capture too, you gotta kill the captain, destroy
powder kegs then lower the flag, it reduces trade tax and
attack chances. A cool new weapon is the rope dart, you
can drop it down from trees and hang people with it damn.
You have Assassin buddies too and they have different
abilities, they can cause riots, marksman is obvious, with
bodyguard they follow you and kill enemies lol, covert
escort is cool they dress us as Brits and pretend you are
a prisoner to get into protected areas, lure is like the
thieves in previous games where they steal something and
the guards start running after them. You get them by
liberating an area but you gotta do these tasks helping
out people harrassed by soldiers and shit like that or
burning infected blankets lol enough times to get the
mission (you also get get keys to chests in the area after
that and you no longer need to lockpick). You can leave
the Animus again when you want to and talk to your crew
and read emails (lmao Juno sends emails too), there are
future missions too (the modern music reminded me of the
theme of Halo 3: ODST), going up skyscraper under
construction and parachuting into an Abstergo place to get
a power source lol (that dude from the comic shows up wow
it was worth reading it after all), there is Brazil too
with some UFC arena place, and when your dad gets
kidnapped you literally walk into Abstergo lmao fighting
guards, you even get gun at the end lmao then just fuck
shit up with the Apple lmao (man I actually really hoped
the series would end with a modern setting, it would have
been so cool). You need to install the power sources you
get and Juno talks to you while you are trying to climb up
to those places, you learn about the methods of how they
tried to stop the catastrophe. Meanwhile Connor of course
takes part in the American Revolutionary War, sometimes
you are like an officer riding along firing lines and
giving orders or controlling big cannons, you take part of
the Battle of the Chesapeake too with ships burning
everywhere, it looked really cool. By that time you get to
the other big city which is New York, it has the same shit
undeground and quests and pages (parts of the city is
burned down lol). There was a cool scene where they almost
hang you lol and you stop Washington's assassination, and
at some point you work together with your father too, but
the dude gets fucked over by everyone including Washington
too wtf, and he's just really angry at everyone but
ultimately he's after Charles Lee and it takes so many
attempts to get him lol, and this is where Desmond finds
out where the key they're looking for is. Spoiler alert:
that fucking old civilization bitch fucked you over, she
literally controlled history to free herself wtf is going
on it was so dumb, and Desmond dies like a bitch, I'm sure
as hell this wasn't the ending the real creator of the
series planned before he left. There are actually some new
missions after you beat the game huh, but it's more like
cutscenes that things won't be as good as they thought,
and his Native people still got fucked over. There are no
new armored outfits you can get though eh as they don't
have stats anymore, but you can unlock Altaïr's lol and
some other ones. There are also some pivots thing to hack,
they're placed on the map but it needs online so whatever,
and you get cheats lol the season changer is nice. This is
the first game where I actually completed everything
including all challenges too (fuck those minigames I'm so
dumb for it I couldn't even understand, the bowl game
glitches out by going to the map when the other dude
throws lmao so I used that trick, the others I just played
on some browser game vs the AI and followed the moves), I
just forgot some plate award for looting 10 convoys eh but
it doesn't count toward 100% so whatever. It was buggy as
hell even with a patch, like one of my convoys got stuck
and I couldn't use that slot anymore, and some sidequests
bugged out and had to start them again. So here is the
thing, I watched the DLCs that take place during the story
as usual and they didn't really add much, however a 3 part
DLC called Assassin's Creed III: The Tyranny of King
Washington came out that you can play separately and
that means I could play them on my PlayStation
3 (you may think it's a wasted Xbox
360 disc now that I
have a PlayStation 3
and I could have played all the DLCs but the controls suck
ass there lmao so it's better this way). First thing I
noticed is how much slower the load times are lol and the
graphics are a bit different too. It takes place in some
kind of alternate world where Connor wakes up, his mother
is still alive and he never left his tribe, but Washington
got mad with power and became king, turns out he got a
fucking Apple lmao and he's like superhero, he kills your
mother again and shots you like a million times, but you
still survive. There is some new giant red tree that
wasn't there, you drink a tea of it and hallucinate like
crazy then gain this spiritual power with wolves that
makes you invisible and you move superfast wow but it
depletes your health when active, it's so fucking OP just
killing everyone cloaked lmao (dogs can sniff you out
though) and you also have these ghost wolves to summon
like Assassins lmao so cool. This episode takes place on
the Frontier but it's smaller and different, it's frozen
and full of ruined buildings, hanged people, and with
wolves everwhere. It has collectibles too like chests (the
locked ones have upgrades sometimes) but it's all visible
on the map, and these Lucid Memory Artifacts from the main
game and they're like memories huh on the location they
happened (3 per episode, finding all unlocks 3 videos of
how this alternate world actually happened and what it
really is). There are also citizen missions, like attack
convoys to liberate prisoners and slaves (it's so buggy
too often times people just sat on the air outside the
cages lol), give food to starving people (raw meat is a
new item) and save people from wolves. You get captured
and the second episode is in Boston with so many guards,
barricades and checkpoints or hanged people everywhere.
The new ability here is eagle flight, you basically fly to
the place you point like to edges, and can use it to air
assassinate too. It has the same citizen missions even
wolves lol, plus saving civilians from firing squads.
Benjamin Franklin joins you here and you escape to New
York lol on your ship and the first mission is a naval
battle, the city looks so weird cause he built a gigantic
fucking pyramid there lmao (the inside of it is like those
obstacle courses and it has a zoo in there too lol). You
get the bear power here by climbing up a gigantic bear and
pulling spears out of it lmao (guess that's what Shadow
of
the
Colossus is gonna be fuck it's gonna take
forever to get there), it's great for smashing the ground
and killing everyone around you but that includes allies
too fuck. The sidequests are similar but instead of wolves
you gotta defend people here in fights. Thomas Jefferson
helps you here, you gotta create civil unrest by hanging
soldiers lol, destroying cannons and statues and shit like
that then launch a rebellion and finally have the ultimate
showdown with Washington. One time there was a brutal
slowdown when there were too many guards on the screen,
that never happened on the Xbox
360. These DLCs were
actually really cool and I liked the powers but it made
you so OP lol. That piece of shit successor of the PlayStation
Portable had an Assassin's Creed
game and it was released a year later in HD but digital
only however that means I can play it on my PlayStation 3, so that will
be the next in the series after summer. Honestly this one
has clearly the best gameplay and content with so many
things to do (I loved forests and shit) but the story was
kinda meh especially that ending after all the buildup, so
overall I would say it's the second best after Assassin's
Creed
II but just barely, I can't believe I almost
didn't play it cause people said it's bad. |
2025/01/14 |
| GoldenEye: Rogue
Agent (Xbox) Developer: EA Los Angeles Publisher: EA Games Released: 2004 Genre: First-person shooter |
 |
| I heard of this a while ago as a James Bond
game where you play as an evil agent and that sounded
cool, and it's an FPS again, thank god I don't have to
deal with that lock-on shit. I knew people hated it but I
thought they're just those insane Nintendo cultists cause
it has the same name as their beloved game lol. It has a
strategy guide but it's not needed, but I heard it's hard
so I played on easy. It has a bunch of villains from the
movies lol like Goldfinger, Dr. No, that Asian dude with a
hat, Pussy Galore lmao what a name, some other chicks too
and Christopher Lee lol (aren't they from the 60s and 70s,
it feels so weird in this modern setting lol). The first
mission is with Bond defending Fort Knox, first of all you
can use P90 hell yeah which is a very important fact for
me lol and you can dual wield a lot of weapons, there are
some weird ones like some laser weapon that can fire
through covers but it's really slow, I loved the big
machine gun that just destroys everyone lol. There is auto
aim too but it's just the bullet goes there if turned on
instead of moving the crosshair to the target, aiming
sucks though and it makes sniping so hard. You can take
hostages for human shield after you stun them by beating
them with melee attack lol. Enemies sometimes get scared
of you and take one of their buddies as hostage to defend
themselves lmao. There is regenerating heath and there are
armors to pick up from dead enemies, if you damage their
body they worth less which was cool. Sometimes you can
find these machines that are traps you can activate and
kill enemies and you get these Rogue Bonus points for it,
you can also get them for headshots, melee kills,
hostages, when you push them over rails, using explosive
barrels and shit, or for kills when you go down on ropes
or lifts. At the end of levels these points determine what
you unlock, there are 2 concept art videos and 2
multiplayer maps or skins on every level I think, I was
lucky if I could unlock one concept art video lmao, shame
there were no cool extras. The character moves slow as
shit though and you can't jump eh. Turns out the first
mission was just a simulation and you failed and they kick
you out, but Goldfinger contacts you and offers you a
GoldenEye to replace your lost eye lol that has abilities.
Dr. No is basically at war with Goldfinger because he
wants to steal his organic matter destruction device or
whatever it is, so you get recruited to defend it. The CGI
was really nice in the cutscenes (your dude is barely in
them and never talks lol) and the graphics look pretty
cool too with aesthetics kinda like techno futurism if
that's a thing lol. Your GoldenEye has 4 abilities you
slowly unlock as you progress through the game and they
all cost energy, you start with seeing through covers,
hacking from a distance which can make weapons malfunction
or activate shit and you take over turrets for your side
which was cool, polarity shield which is an energy shield
that protects you and you can use it in melee to discharge
it and kill enemies (some stronger enemies with names can
have this too), and a magnetic field which is the Jedi
force basically lol to push and pull enemies. You can't
save anytime but missions aren't too long, the levels are
incredibly linear, you can only go one way eh. You go to
Hong Kong fighting drones on skyscrapers and the triad in
bathouses where you can gas them to death in saunas lol,
Las Vegas in a casino and underground, the Hoover Dam
which was way too long and fuck those tanks Jesus, some
underwater base which is like a black market for luxury
weapons and that dude with the cat shows up too lol, Dr.
No's island where you kill him and get fucked over by
Goldfinger of course, and then his base where you get the
Omen weapon which can disintegrate enemies even if they're
shielded, but that also means insta death for you too eh.
There is multiplayer too but it's online only so who
cares, it's not a good game anyway, it was so boring and
dull and just lame as fuck, it wasn't fun to play at all. |
2024/12/31 |
| Primal (PlayStation
2) Developer: Sony Computer Entertainment Europe Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment Released: 2003 Genre: Action-adventure |
 |
| I only heard of this game a few years ago
when I started reading that console magazine, from what
I've read real gamer girls in those days really loved it
(along with Beyond Good & Evil). It was made
by the MediEvil devs so I thought I should check
it out. So this metal chick called Jen and her boyfriend
Lewis are at a concert where he sings and sees some weird
tall being and he gets scared, later it attacks them in
the alleyway and she hits her head and falls into a coma
where this gargoyle dude called Scree drags her soul out
of her body and takes her into this place called Nexus in
this dimension called Oblivion which has 4 worlds, two
belong to Order with the goddess Arella and two to Chaos
controlled by Abaddon who wants to control everything and
he's behind the kidnapping of your boyfriend, so you help
the gargoyle dude to restore the balance by visiting those
worlds. The first world is Solum where these minotaur
beings called the Ferai live, it's like Greek ruins and
it's always dark and snowy, the kings in this world need
to sacrifice themselves but the current one' son is
missing and the world is collapsing because of it so you
need to find him and find out what's going on. There are
some NPCs but you can't interact with them just in
cutscenes, when you find the son he actually helps you
fighting lol (later that happens with the Wraith peasant
too). You have regenerating health but you don't really
use human form, you get other from the worlds and they
have their own energies with different colors which Scree
can collect from dead enemies, chests, barrels, stones or
fountains to recharge his pool, and if you hold down the
form's dpad button it recharges it from his energy. The
Ferai form makes you jump higher to reach ledges but the
combat sucks, you need to use finishing moves on some
enemies and can block too and if you do it the right time
it counterattacks, you use the shoulder buttons which was
wierd, a normal press is a quick attack and holding down
is a power attack (there are combos too but I'm too dumb
for that). Corpses don't disappear at all which is cool,
sometimes there are shielded enemies and they were harder
to kill. Scree can't fight at all though, in fact he turns
into stone during combat lol. You can find energy gems for
Jen and they restore full energy if you run out, it's
basically extra lives. Graphics are fine but the camera
jumps around and shakes when you go up stairs and shit and
it made me dizzy eh. The music is alright but it turns
into this metal music when you're in combat lmao. You can
switch between the characters with the Select button,
there is so much banter between them lmao, the chick's
voice actress is that hot blonde goddess from Xena:
Warrior Princess yummy. You can ask Scree what to do next
but it's vague as fuck so I just followed a guide lol. You
gotta work together to progress, sometimes opening big
doors or switches together, but you need to be separated
sometimes like Jen can walk through small ledges and Scree
can walk on walls. Scree can posses statues using 5
lodestones (that's other shit he can collect), it's needed
to open doors or wiggle it to knock it down and create a
path but actually sometimes he fights using the statue
lol. He can carry a torch too to light up dark places
which was cool, and he will find a rope in that minotaur
world you can drop down so Jen can climb up and down, the
animations are so fucking slow though when you climb and
shit or when you change forms just waiting for it to
finish lol. There is no jump button, you gotta go to the
place and press forward on the analog stick and they do
what's supposed to happen, but that also means you can't
fall off or do the wrong thing. There are rift gates which
are like a stargate lol where you can travel to different
gates you discovered on the level and that's where you go
back to the Nexus too, you have a map where you can see
the gates and the objectives too. There are also these
little portals called summoning stones where you can drag
Scree out from other parts of the level if you get
separated. You can save anytime thank god, you don't have
to deal with checkpoints. You don't really get visual
clues on what to do unless you have multiple things you
can choose from, without a guide I would have been
completely lost. The collectibles are hidden tarot cards,
I think they needed to unlock all extras. It reminds me of
Soul Reaver 2 like the big puzzles to solve and how
combat works, it's just the story isn't that good lol. You
gotta use all the different forms to progress through the
levels, the second world is Aquis which is a water world
where the water is poisoned and you gotta save the queen
and help her restart the water filtering system, the
Undine form here makes you breath underwater, the combat
fucking sucked though and it was disorienting sometimes.
Aetha world is like Transylvanian mountains with fog and
rain with Wraiths who are like French vampires lmao, they
sacrifice villagers (the decapitated heads can talk lol)
and you gotta stop them. The Wraith form has purple whip
but the fucking enemies were so hard here Jesus I tried to
avoid combat with the monsters, this form's special
ability is teleporting around and when you aren't in
combat you can slow down time (I loved that part where you
dress up as a Wraith and go to dance ball lmao, but that
fucking maze was a nightmare). The last world Volca is an
Egyptian and Arabian inspired desert kind of place with
volcanos and lava and Djinns lol (I loved how flames
automatically light up the rooms as you enter like in
Aladdin) where the king takes control of Jen and you gotta
rescue her by fighting her lol, the Djinn form here is
different because you can switch between fast but weak and
slow but powerful modes with your flame weapons, you can
instakill weaker enemies lol it was brutal. The final boss
is your boyfriend who got brainwashed to serve Abaddon and
he has the forms too so it's 4 parts where you gotta fight
through all of them (I just switched to Djinn form for all
of them except water lol), and there is one where you
fight with Scree who returned to his original body. After
the end credits there was a Ghoshunter promo, I'm
really looking forward to that game. The bonus stuff you
unlock are a cutscenes viewer, tarot card viewer, behind
the scenes video with the voice actors, making of video
that was more like a gameplay promo with the devs talking
lol, an interview with that metal band, trailer, and a
coming soon trailer for some stupid monster fighting game
lol. It was actually quite long (would have been almost a
month if I didn't have to stop playing), it's sort of like
Soul Reaver 2 lite but still a good game. |
2024/12/20 |
