Captain Buttbeard's Gaming Corner

Scrapland (Xbox) Developer: MercurySteam Publisher: Deep Silver Released: 2005 Genre: Action-adventure
	2025/11/25
Jak II (PlayStation 2) Developer: Naughty Dog Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment Released: 2003 Publisher: Platformer, action-adventure
	2025/11/20
Project: Snowblind (Xbox) Developers: Crystal Dynamics, Nixxes Software Publisher: Eidos Interactive Released: 2005 Genre: First-person shooter
	2025/10/24
Constantine (Xbox) Developer: Bits Studios Publisher: SCi Games Released: 2005 Genre: Action-adventure
	2025/10/14
.hack//OUTBREAK (PlayStation 2) Developer: CyberConnect2 Publisher: Bandai Released: 2003 Genre: Action role-playing
At this point I just want this shit to end lmao, the idea of splitting this into 4 shorter game was cool but like fucking nothing happened in this one, one or maybe two games would have been more than enough for this story. You can see some of the new things right at the beginning from the patch notes lol, grunties can now find specific items in the fields or take you straight to portals or to the dungeon entrance, and there are two new types, aqua and milky lol. As usual there is a new server of course, the capital is like a fort but everything is still fucked up from the virus. There are the usual 3 new virus cores and a new type of data drain called 2128 Drain with an even higher chance to get rare items, but I feel like I had a harder time getting virus cores here than in the previous games. There is a new breakable object called Virus Crystal which is an additional way of getting virus cores. The goblin shit is different too as you have to chase 3 of them at the same time wtf and they can heal each other Jesus it was insanely hard. This had the least amount of new party members, Balmung finally joins though he was in the book too and some schoolgirl, but my favorite cheeky cunt character Mistral left cause she is pregnant, I thought she was a little girl lmao. There are ghostly sightings of the characters from the anime series saying some of their lines, you can collect them all for a pic in the desktop and for items, and you even rescue that annoying rogue from the anime who got trapped in the game lol. The developers started blaming the hackers for the comas which is clearly bullshit, I guess the story is they're trying to get the admin and the hackers to work together cause the company wants to shut down the servers, and I guess they found a way to defeat bosses without the virus spreading, but Jesus barely anything happened at all lmao this shit was like two few minutes long cutscenes in a month long game, how the fuck can these insane weebs play these fucking games for months. At least the anime episode had actual shit happening and they revealed the backstory of the characters who created the game and the poem it was based on. One last game left and I hope I can get through it before summer and finally be done with this shit.	2025/10/13
Assassin's Creed: Liberation HD (PlayStation 3) Developer: Ubisoft Sofia Publisher: Ubisoft Released: 2014 Genre: Action-adventure, stealth
This is a spinoff of Assassin's Creed III that originally came out on the piece of shit successor of the PlayStation Portable that was released digitally only more than a year later. This is also my first game without a proper cover eh I spend so much time finding these shits and then the fucking PlayStation 3 never even had any for PlayStation Network games just some shitty pic. It takes place in New Orleans and swamps which I think is a cool setting, the game is centered around slaves which was really missing from Assassin's Creed III, but the map and the city isn't big at all so that means no fast travel inside the city. I'm not sure what to think of the main character, like would a half black woman in the 1700 had any fucking rights, yet alone be a noble woman wtf? And there is no modern dude, it's some device you can buy and relive her memories so the intro is like a commercial for it huh. You start as a little kid with the first mission and your mother goes missing but that's it, you don't play through how she became an assassin you just read about it in database eh (you can't read about the locations though). The graphics are very colorful compared to the original, honestly I liked that one more with the kinda yellow filter on. The gimmick of this game is how she can change clothes to be like an assassin, a noble woman and a slave and they all have different abilities. The assassin is the usual, it's the only one where you can do chain kills and it always has some noterity, slave is weak in combat but can blend in crowds and carry crates to pretend you're a real slave and get into some areas and guards are slower to be suspicious when you have a crate and you can only reduce its noterity by tearing down posters but you can still run on roofs, and the lady can't jump or climb but you can seduce dudes lol and bribe guards and you lower notoriety by killing witnesses. You can only change dresses in dressing chambers which you can buy them all around the city, but you can't walk inside stores they're just menus. You can pickpocket multiple times very fast lol and there is a new kind of chain kills where you pause the game and mark the targets you want to kill and she automatically kills them. The Bayou is the forest nature area here, but it's a swamp with alligators and voodo shit lmao, you can still go up on trees though and there are canoes you can use to row through the water if you don't want to swim. There are some new weapons, blowpipe for poison weapon (which is a parasol for the lady), a different kind of poison that makes a soldier crazy and he starts killing his friends, a whip which pulls enemies closer lol to kill them and to swing over platforms. There are no horses to ride and you can't skin animals here but you can still pet them lol. The secondary missions are Bayou fever where you collect some mushrooms to cure sick people, freeing slaves in lady costume, getting rid of rival shop owner and taking over their stores, ship crew just helping out a captain, smuggler missions in Bayou eliminating camps, and there are these Citizen E missions too where someone hacked in some enemies you need to kill because Abstergo changed what really happened in some places but you get the real cutscene after you kill them, it edits the database too by changing what was written there to reveal all the evil Templar conspiracy shit. There is a trading system too but with ships only, you can buy stuff and sell it around the Caribbean and later Europe, there are things like hurricanes and pirates but your ship never gets destroyed I think they just slow it down. I guess i the story is centered around the Spanish taking over the colony and some rebellion but it's not really that in depth, honestly it felt hard to immerse myself because there is zero character development and things are just happening. There is another area is Mexico with some temple ruin excavations with some ancient civilization building inside, and you go to New York and meet Connor too to have the connection between the two games, this had a bonus memory where you play as him but I couldn't access it. The collectibles are alligator eggs, pages of your mother's diary, Mayan statues in Mexico, and there are other collectibles made specifically for the HD release: coins you get in assassin clothes by beating up some people, brooches in lady clothes by charming some dudes, voodoo dolls in slave clothes by pickpocketing, and new secondary missions too like investigating something in slave clothes, assassin contracts, finding your kidnappers as a lady. You unlock costumes and weapons by doing these, the most unique one is voodoo themed assassin outfit with the skeleton painting and bones lol. It was buggy as hell though, like the timer stopped expiring lmao, I got stuck inside a door or respawned in wrong clothes and it froze during fast travel a couple times eh. You get a fake ending of her joining the Templars, you need to finish all Citizen E missions to get the real final mission and you get some lore about Eve from that Assassin's Creed II video which isn't really much. I got the DLC too but it's just extra items, and it's the first game ever where I got all the achievements or trophies lol, it wasn't hard. It was alright and for a handheld game it's fucking crazy but it's nothing really special, at least it only took like 3 weeks which is great I didn't have to play this for months. I think I'm gonna take a break from Assassin's Creed games, there's only 3 left (that's right, thanks to the PlayStation 3) but there are so many long games I want to play like Red Dead Redemption and some RPGs that I would never have time for them otherwise.	2025/10/05
Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath (Xbox) Developer: Oddworld Inhabitants Publisher: EA Games Released: 2005 Genre: First-person, third-person shooter, action-adventure
So I actually have the first game of this series on PC as it was the free game in a magazine I bought, I tried to play it back then and I thought the farting was funny and the noises Abe made but I had no idea where to go so I watched all the other games besides this in summer, I think I couldn't even get to the third screen lmao I thought it takes place only in the factory but no, I thought about playing the third game as it wasn't 2D but it wasn't good. This one I remember from a magazine and I always wanted to play it, and I actually played it a little bit on PC when it came out years later but I hated it maybe because of the shitty controls and I had no idea what to do. I found a strategy guide which made it easier this time, I guess it takes places maybe in the past or a different place on the planet in a kinda Wild West world and it's not connected to the story of the other games, you are playing as a bounty hunter called Stranger who is like some goat dog hybrid lol and he's trying to get money for his surgery lmao (no subtitles of course). There are two views you can use, third person is to run around and you can do a spin attack and headbutt, you're running faster on 4 feet and jump farther, and first person is to use crossbow but you can punch too. The cool thing in this game is the ammo, you can load up live ammunition and catch them lol they're little animals, the chipmunk attracts enemies cause it loudly talks shit lol, the spider ties an enemy up, the skunk immobilizes enemies around it lol, there are furry balls that bite enemies lmao and they start panicking or you can fire them at the ground to set a trap, some electric bug which is infinite ammo and you can use it to disable enemies or ammo to catch them and it can also be used to activate panels to open shit, armored fly things that knock enemies back, bats that explode lol, bees that are like machine gun ammo they're super fast and home in on enemies, a sniper type mosquito, later there are upgraded versions like the spider can tie up multiple enemies, little fury biting animal kills people too, upgraded chipmunks attract more enemies at the same time, the armored fly thing just straight up fucks them up, the bee machine gun is more powerful, upgraded bats home in on enemies and you fire 3 at the same time and upgraded skunk pulls enemies where it's fired like a black hole (thank god it pauses when you switch ammo cause you do that a lot). You claim your bounty by sucking up disabled or dead enemies with a vacuum cleaner lol (alive is worth more obviously). You have a health and a stamina bar which recharges on its own and is needed for melee attacks and you can use it to regenerate your health. You have a radar and you can see enemies and their view distances, you can hide in tall grass and they won't notice you there, you can swim too but enemies can't so if you push them into the water they'll die, but you can do other environmental kills too like activating cranes to drop crates on them. So you arrive at towns and chicken people live there lmao and you can talk to them or hit them to get money too, you put the bad guy in jail and you can pick up the next bounty, there is a store you can go to and buy stuff like binoculars with microphone for spying, ammo bag upgrades to carry more of them and increase how much you can have loaded up in your crossbow, brass knuckles for stronger melee attack or just stamina and health upgrades, there is even a fortune teller booth there to see some videos of the late game combat lol. So after you pick up the bounty you go out and hunt down the boss, there are some normal Wild West environments like farms and mines with a minecart ride and even some ancient temple, the second half is more like a lush forest area with a city called New Yolk lmao that has a black market, but it's more like a futuristic Wild West with computers, dropships, transports and shit. Like 3/4 into the game you find out what Stranger is and what surgery he wants lol, the little dudes who saved you give you your ancestors' armor and he looks like a viking lol and now he's on 4 legs (you get a couple of better armors as you progress) and you get a boat too that fires automatically at enemies. You're going after Sekto who took their water away, at this point you can't get bounty and money anymore so sucking up enemies turns them into ammo lol and the upgrades you bought are gone eh, it feels like a completely different game with different enemies like hovering tanks and places like a factory or a dam (kinda like in the previous games). There was a time limit when you're trying to reach the final boss (fuck this part), the ending was meh I didn't care for it, and there are no collectibles or different endings like in the previous games. It wasn't mind-blowingly fantastic but it was good, the only problem was the camera that sometimes went crazy and that I couldn't fucking hear anything without subtitles because the characters had these idiotic voices, but I know I would have hated it if I played it 20 years ago so it was good timing.	2025/09/29
X-Men (Mega Drive) Developer: Western Technologies Inc Publisher: Sega Released: 1993 Genre: Action, platform
I wanted to play this one cause I decided to wait with X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse until I read most of the comics (I'm at the mid 80s now, fuck I'm so slow there's so much shit to read) and this one has most characters and some places I know. But it's insanely hard and I couldn't play on easy cause it locks you out of the full game eh, I found romhack that makes the game easier though. You're in the Danger Room and Magneto infects it with a virus, there are 4 characters Gambit, Nightcrawler, Wolverine and Cyclops and you can read their bios which was cool, there are some other characters you can call for help and if you fall off Jean Grey picks you up which would normally cost health but not with this hack. You can change between characters during missions too if you want, originally it was limited but here you can do that anytime and it won't cost energy. You can jump, attack, and they have their mutant ability and special power, Cyclops fires a beam and jumps the highest, Nightcrawler teleports, Wolverine uses his claws and his health regenerates, Gambit has card attacks, they all have spinning attacks too with mutant ability like Cyclops just fires everywhere. They cost energy but it recharges faster here but if it runs out you can't use it anymore, however all characters have separate health and energy which was cool. The bonus characters you can call to help you out are Rogue who punches out enemies, Archangel who flies around 3 times firing at enemies, Iceman creates a path you can cross, Storm has a tornado attack and Jean besides saving you can take you to the other player but only in 2 player mode, you can only use them once but you can find pickups to characters to use them again. There are a bunch of switches, moving platforms, traps but you aren't just going straight from left to right so it was fucking confusing sometimes eh this is exactly the kind of 2D game I hate, you can even go into the background which was cool I guess. Levels are the Savage Land, Shi'ar Empire where you ride a spaceship avoiding meteor Jesus, Excalibur Lighthouse which had X-Men mirage enemies, Ahab's World (I had no idea what this is but it had Sentinels) with so many dangerous energy shit and clones, Mojo's Crunch which had a time limit on the entire level Jesus. Between levels there are orbs flying around in the Danger Room and you can destroy them to recharge your health and there were boss fights at the end of levels like Juggernaut, some chick I don't know but it took me forever, Deathbird, Sabertooth, Apocalypse etc but they were so fucking hard to do. I started playing the game with Cyclops cause he is my favorite but I quickly realized teleporting with Nightcrawler makes everything so much easier so I mostly used him, sometimes Wolverine for the renegerating health, and Gambit I only used for the bossfight with that chick. So this game had some insane Metal Gear Solid tier interaction thing as you physically had to press the reset button on the console to progress as it reboots the system but I was afraid it won't work with the emulator but this hack removed it I just had to punch the computer. The final level is Asteroid M with Magneto as the final boss but this was the most brutal I have no idea how anyone could beat this fucking game without saving every second. Btw the music fucking sucked lmao it's like awful noises, Streets of Rage 2 sounded like it has proper instruments compared to this one. It's not that good honestly but I heard the sequel is a lot better, I will play it one day.	2025/09/08
Streets of Rage 2 (Mega Drive) Developer: Sega Publisher: Sega Released: 1992 Genre: Beat 'em up
Exactly a year has passed since the events of the first games and the characters meet for the anniversary to celebrate, but after that the black dude gets kidnapped by the evil leader who is back somehow so you gotta rescue him and defeat the boss again. There are 4 characters this time, the blonde dude and the chick are back, and there is the black dude's little brother and some giant black wrestler, I went with the cool dude again of course lol. I immediately noticed how much better the graphics look, there's so much more details with the background and foreground moving too, the character animation is much better, there are transparency effects like light or rain and a fucking fog too which is insane, and I guess the music is better too but I can't really tell, I hate this shitty 2D bleeping. You can see the enemy's health now too which is really helpful (the bosses have multiple ones). The gameplay is still the same but the cop car attacks are gone, they were replaced by a special attack you can trigger and it takes away from your health. I played on easy but it felt easier than the first game, and I feel like the character is moving a little faster too which is great. You have new moves too like blitz attack where you gotta double tap the D-pad and press the attack button and it's like a crazy punch (other characters have different moves I'm sure). There are some new weapons besides the old ones like grenades or katana but there's no more baseball bat eh. A lot of the enemies are back but they look much better too and there are new ones like motorcycle riding ones, lots of martial artist bosses, robots etc and they repeat a lot so they're not as unique as in the first one. They can even throw bombs at you from the background but you can't hit them there so you gotta avoid those. Levels have multiple areas and sometimes those have their own bosses, you lose weapon between areas though eh. Like in the first one you start on the street, then go into a bar, then to the alleyway behind it. Next is a bridge again, then inside a truck, then part of the bridge that's under construction with a jetpack boss. There is the amusement park with arcades, a pirate ship and an alien set with fog and eggs lol with a fucking 3D effect alien queen too. Then there's a park and a baseball stadium with a secret elevator lol and you end up in some fight arena. You board a cargo ship and you go up to the deck, and then arrive to some beach and fight your way through a jungle. There is a factory again with another elevator, and finally the villain's lair which is better here with a nice window view but it has another elevator wtf, it's a much shorter level than in the first game though. The boss has a bodyguard you have to fight first but it wasn't hard at all, that's one of the reasons why it's a much better game, it just wasn't a frustrating mess where I had to save every second, you have better moves and it looks much better too so it's a fine game.	2025/08/31

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