Captain Buttbeard's Gaming Corner

Toy Story (Mega Drive) Developer: Traveller's Tales Publisher: Disney Interactive Released: 1995 Genre: Platform
	2025/06/26
Ys I & II Chronicles (PlayStation Portable) Developer: Nihon Falcom Publisher: Xseed Games Released: 2011 Genre: Action role-playing
	2025/06/25
World's Scariest Police Chases (PlayStation) Developer: Unique Development Studios Publishers: Activision, Fox Interactive Released: 2001 Genre: Action, driving
	2025/06/19
300: March to Glory (PlayStation Portable) Developer: Collision Studios Publisher: Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment Released: 2007 Genre: Hack and slash
	2025/06/12
Heart of the Alien: Out of this World Parts I and II (Mega CD) Developer: Interplay Productions Publisher: Virgin Interactive Entertainment Released: 1994 Genre: Platform
	2025/06/09
The Punisher (Xbox) Developer: Volition Publisher: THQ Released: 2005 Genre: Action-adventure, third-person shooter
	2025/06/01
Rising Zan: The Samurai Gunman (PlayStation) Developer: UEP Systems Publisher: Agetec Released: 1999 Genre: Action-adventure
	2025/05/29
Robert Ludlum's The Bourne Conspiracy (PlayStation 3) Developer: High Moon Studios Publisher: Vivendi Games Released: 2008 Genre: Action, third-person shooter, stealth
	2025/05/29
Haze (PlayStation 3) Developer: Free Radical Design Publisher: Ubisoft Released: 2008 Genre: First-person shooter
	2025/05/21
Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction (Xbox) Developer: Pandemic Studios Publisher: LucasArts Released: 2005 Genre: Action-adventure
	2025/05/20
T'ai Fu: Wrath of the Tiger (PlayStation) Developer: DreamWorks Interactive Publisher: Activision Released: 1999 Genre: Action, platformer
I actually tried to play this last summer on my PlayStation Portable cause I thought it would be the perfect game for it but it's broken there, the emulator on PlayStation 2 doesn't work either and it's the kind of game I would never burn a disc for. But this is where the PlayStation 3 comes in handy as it works there, so between these 3 I could play everything lol, I heard you can upscale it to HD and turn on smoothing and shit but that means more input lag so nope thanks. I think I heard of it a few years ago in that old console magazine, the reason why it was noticable cause it's literally Kung Fu Panda from DreamWorks like a decade earlier with the same producer or someone like that who worked on both of them lmao (never seen that though I was too old when it came out). The story is this last evil dragon wants to take over China and he destroys the tiger clan and you play as T'ai Fu who is the last survivor and you journey through China to take revenge. And damn it looks awful on LED TV eh, so I tried it with the PlayStation 2 cable on my CRT TV and it was so much better lol even though it's 480i not 240p. It's kinda isometric though eh or shows it from the side, you can't move the camera so it auto gives the angle it thinks it's the best. There are jade pieces to pick up and you get a life after 100 of them and after every 25 enemies you killed too, and of course there are life pickups as a tiger symbol and health sometimes too thank god, and invisibility or invincibility scrolls while the gold coin is where you end the level, most of them were short enough and linear with a few checkpoints. You can only save after levels and he walks through the world map to get to the next level but you can't go back to replay them or pick a different one. Levels are like cliffs and hills, temples and fortresses, and they have tons of platforming but jumping sucks, you gotta jump at like the very last pixel to make it eh, also there are jumping pads to jump higher places, but the 3D here is so weird and the camera angles can be so bad that I kept jumping to the wrong places, and with all those fucking spike pits and chasms in some places it was a nightmare. Well at least you can pick up and throw down enemies too, the combat seems easy first but as you journey through China you meet new clans and you learn their moves, like dashing and bigger jumps from leopards, rolling move from monkeys (they live in an Ewok style village lol), hovering from cranes, and obviously you gotta use these moves to progress but this is when the game stopped being fun and turned into a frustrating mess because of the god awful jumping sections. The worst thing is sometimes it doesn't even register a lot of the moves correctly so I also died a lot because of that shit. There are boss fights too usually with the clan leaders (the monkey boss is like a drunken master lmao), after the first one you learn chi attack which is like magic and it makes the combat somewhat easier, you can power it up by doing combos or energy pickups, and there are different elemental scrolls that change it like earth, fire, water etc. I genuinely started hating this piece of fucking shit game around the harbor level, those boar clan levels were even worse, but the entire fucking console crashed on the brutal last level lmao fuck off, apparently because of the emulator and I found out there is another one you can switch to lol how the fuck this works, it played with that one fine. But fuck the final boss my god, it took me two days to beat that shit. You get concept arts during the end credits but that's it, the first half was too simple and the second half just fucking ruined the entire game with the insane jumps and enemies, seriously fuck this game.	2025/05/17
Dark Sector (PlayStation 3) Developer: Digital Extremes Publisher: D3 Publisher Released: 2008 Genre: Third-person shooter
I heard of this a few years ago, I thought about playing it on Xbox 360 but the reviews didn't really satisfy me and I thought that throwing weapon would be annoying. Some agent is sent to this Russki shithole where a virus broke out and the agency scientist there went insane and didn't come back so you're there to eliminate him. It has fucking R1 shooting you can't change fuck off and as usual the aiming sucks because of the controller. The first level was black and white huh cool and the dude is wearing a mask so you can't see how he looks at first, but it quickly became obvious that this game is literally Gears of War lmao, same camera, same controls, sprinting is the same, the way he takes cover and vaults over it lmao, you gotta pick up weapons and ammo mannually too, even the locations look similar too with the same color palette. You can't blind fire out of cover though and you can only carry 2 weapons, a pistol or a machine gun, shotgun, sniper, RPG etc and you can shoot grenades in the air to kill soldiers lol. Some armored mutant thing shows up, the armor has similar aesthethics as Warframe (I actually played that game when it came out for like a few hours before it bored me to death) and you get infected and that's when the game gets color, your right arm is all fucked up and some glaive materializes in it lol. Enemy weapons have a lock so after you get infected you can only use them for a few seconds before they stop working, but mostly you're gonna use the glaive after that (I got so used to it that I forgot I could just kill distant enemies with my rifle lmao). You can decapitate them lol or cut limbs off and they scream like crazy lmao, you can use a pistol at the same time too but two handed weapons dematerialize it. You can charge up the glaive with different energies, electricity, ice, fire and use it to open doors and shit and kill enemies, put out fire, freeze water, lots of cool shit you can do. You get abilities too as they slowly activate, Steal can bring items and weapons to you with the glaive, Power Throw is obvious lol it's stronger, After Touch can control it slow motion after you throw it like in Heavenly Sword, Shield you can activate and it deflects bullets too, Energy Pulse explodes the glaive when it's charged with energy and Shift makes you invisible. You can find money and hidden weapon upgrades which you can use in the black market at these manholes, you can add upgrades like more firepower or ammo but you need to find those specific upgrades they aren't just generic points, and can also buy or sell and store weapons there too. You aren't just fighting soldiers, this virus turned most people into zombies but somehow you're immune to it, you see these yellow bags everywhere which I assume are filled with corpses lol cool. Later there are some advanced zombies too that can fire at you and big armored soldiers, and fucking Russki walking mechs lol cool, you even hijack it once for a ride lmao nice, it can fire flares to distract rockets firing at you. There is melee combat too but mostly I just used the finisher move when the enemy is stunned or hasn't noticed you yet. You often have to use the glaive to reach places you can't get to, activate switches and shit, and there is this black goo around some places you need to destroy with fire to progress. You get that Warframe armor later lmao, you take less damage and health recovers faster, it protects against gas grenades too and you can pick up the armored dudes' minigun. There are boss fights with giant monsters lol but there are no checkpoints between their stages eh, the final boss inside that vault (Akira and F.E.A.R. vibes) was the easiest lol. It had multiplayer but online only so who cares, and there are no unlockables eh, it has built in achievements though called entitlements lol but no trophies. Yeah it was cool, another Gears of War clone just without a great story, it would have been fine on Xbox 360 too I guess.	2025/05/12
Syphon Filter 3 (PlayStation) Developer: Sony Bend Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment Released: 2001 Genre: Third-person shooter
I wanted to burn this on CD and wait till the end of the year to play it, but the next PlayStation 2 game was .hack//OUTBREAK and it's too soon to play it plus I wouldn't finish it before summer so I decided to spend the remaining time playing PlayStation games. I found out some South American made a bunch of patches to POPStarter games to fix their issues so I decided to test it with this one cause based on what I read it's more like a best of with random missions than a proper sequel (well that wasn't exactly true). I rewatched the cutscenes of Syphon Filter 2 and read the plot of the first one again, man these games have such a complicated story. The menu is still the same lol and there are still no subtitles eh but they finally added CGI cutscenes, this takes place soon after the second game too lmao, there is a Senate hearing and you play through of their confessions and retellings of what lead to this, how they got in the agency, how they're trying to stop the virus etc. Like they went to Japan to kill that Chinese general who wanted to buy the virus in Syphon Filter 2 (Gabe is wearing white suit lol) or you play the Costa Rica mission that you only saw in the first game's intro (which ends on a plane and you gotta shoot armored Rhoemer out lol kinda like a boss fight but short). I guess the graphics look better especially the faces but it's hard to tell with these games, but I feel like the framerate is better, everything just feels smoother especially the aiming, but holy hell it's still hard I could barely do the first sniping segment. There are some new things though like these bonus tasks you can accomplish that aren't objectives like saving someone before he gets shot and he gives you a weapon or unlocks a map in multiplayer, you can use a mine detector sometimes, a weapon that fires through walls and you can see through them with the scope huh cool, and I think that's about it for new stuff lmao it still feels like you are playing the same game. You can save and quit at checkpoints, but I think Syphon Filter 2 had that too I'm not sure, but when I loaded a checkpoint it was broken, Lian kept dying and enemies didn't appear so I restarted the mission then it worked, then some other checkpoint didn't spawn the enemies correctly, and the game still like froze for a second sometimes or the audio was a bit late, so much for this shitty fix it literally only fixes game breaking bugs that prevents you from playing the game eh, never falling for this shit again. So it kinda randomly switches between characters, like that African dude from the second game telling how he got involved with the agency freeing slaves from a gold mine and riding a minecart lol. Or what Lian was doing in Kabul when working for China to stop the Soviet occupation (it's cool to see that location, I would love to see the ancient ruins of Bactria but those fucking religious lunatics ruined that country forever), how she met Gabe when he was just a soldier (and I guess that Russki general), or she gives her perspective of the Costa Rica mission where she was in an ancient temple. Or how Gabe met his agency boss in Afghanistan fighting Afghan rebels in the Soviet era (Jesus fuck that canyon part it was insane). While someone testifies someone else is actually on a few missions, Gabe is with MI6 in Ireland trying to destroy a ship with a shipment of the virus then trucks loaded with them and find out who is behind the agency, or Lian following the evidence they found and goes to the Australian Outback where the virus is being tested and manufactured. That other chick who died in the previous game is actually still alive and you play through her ATF memories, how she met Gabe in a Ruby Ridge sort of situation with a crashed satellite in a snowy forest and a compound (I love these levels even though they were hard, it's the kind of conspiracy thing I talked about after the first game, militias thinking the government's gonna get them lol instead we have retarded boomers now who OD on Russki propaganda eh). As you can tell the problem is it's all over the place without a coherent story and a lot of times just feels like random flashbacks, but that doesn't make the levels badly designed and it's still a good game. Also lmao at how the hearing ends, you end up chasing Mara through a subway car and headshot her with that X-ray sniper (she doesn't die of course lol), Gabe becomes the agency chief, but that credits cutscene shows it's not the end of the virus. There's a new game mode though called Mini Game which is basically challenges, Assassin is kill targets without detection, Thief is steal a briefcase and return it without detection, Elimination is just kill all enemies, Demolition is like the subway in the first game when you find bombs and escort and protect the bomb diffuser, and Biathlon I didn't even unlock apparently you can only fire from specific positions. You can select the difficulty here but you gotta complete them before unlocking the next difficulty, and have characters like a bag lady lmao or Chance in armor, and the maps you unlocked are from the previous games. I only cared for Elimination cause it's like multiplayer with bots, I might keep the game for that, most of the others had time limits or just sucked. Yeah honestly it's cool and all but the lack of coherent story doesn't make it that good even though the gameplay and levels are probably the best here and maybe the least frustrating too, but it's really like one game in three lmao they all play and feel the same. The next game is on PlayStation 2 but I heard the controls are the same with lockon wtf.	2025/05/05
Lost: The Video Game (PlayStation 3) Developer: Ubisoft Montreal Publisher: Ubisoft Released: 2008 Genre: Action-adventure
Also known as Lost: Via Domus outside the civilized world. I loved the show, well the first 2 seasons anyway, the 3rd was just ok and the rest was fucking teribble and ruined everything, they killed all the mystery with a bunch of bullshit explanations, the creators clearly ahd no idea what to do. I wanted to play this game too lol on PC cause I kept seeing it in stores but I just assumed it's shit. It starts just like the series, he plane breaks half then the show's intro starts nice, you are playing as some amnesiac dude they created for the game and you wake up in the jungle. The graphics look fine and the music is from the show so it's great. So you are walking through the jungle (which is actually very linear), following Vincent the dog lol to lead you to the beach where the crash site is, and you can talk to the characters from the show (most of them are not voiced by their actors but they look like them at least), they have different topics like quest, general questions, and you can trade with some of them too with the items you pick up which are mostly fruits or water bottles lol. Some conversations and items can trigger a flashback scene, you see a torn up photo and need to take a pic with your camera at the right moment when it happens to remember, you can then walk around and interact with items inside the memory to remember more details. There are also these fuse panel puzzles that you need solve a bunch of times, you gotta add fuses and rotate them to get the right voltage, it would've been a nightmare without a guide for a retard like me lol. The chapters end like an episode of the show, and when the next starts you get a Previously on Lost recap too lmao so cool. You play through the first 2 seasons of the show thank god but some places and characters show up from season 3 too. You navigate through the jungle to reach other areas by interacting with stuff that points to next the location, first it's the debris, later by Locke's markings on the trees then by following a compass. Sometimes you gotta hide from the Smoke Monster too in the trees (which they fucking ruined in the show with a fucking retarded explanation, it's clearly not what it was supposed to be) and there are some on-rails segments too where you run away from it ducking and jumping over shit, and The Others are also in the game and they can be shooting at you too from trees (who they also ruined, they should have stayed these insane evil people instead of just a bunch of idiots living in a small town). There are dark areas like caves where you need a light source like torches to get through, they have a bar that slowly depletes and water and bats can put it out so you need to extinguish it for a moment or else you'll lose most of the bar and then you're fucked. You can find so many shit from the show, the corpse of the polar bear lol, the hatch, you can find the famous numbers on the beach like on a crate or debris and if you examine them in order you'll be teleported to the medical station, you will go inside the Swan station omg that was my favorite thing about the series, I would have loved to live there lol (it's insane but my dream is to live in a bunker lmao), you gotta enter the numbers too man so cool. You can find the van too and go to the Black Rock ship for dynamite and you can't run with it so avoiding the fucking Smoke Monster was a nightmare. You need to buy a gun too but I barely ever use it, and you have to do some fucking IQ tests on those old computers wtf lmao thank god for guides, you also find a station that wasn't in the series with a giant generator. And there is the Pearl station you can go to with some hidden object interaction, the Flame station with the one eyed Russki, and the Hydra station. So basically the end is like another attempt to capture Jack before the end of season 2 and they would let you leave but you save him and steal the boat. By that time you found out you were a reporter investigating some criminal and your girlfriend died because of you, but when the ending happens you wake up again after the crash and she is alive and there with you lmao wtf was that. The unlockables are concept arts and you get them by taking photos but they were kinda lame eh. You know what, I know it's not good on a technical level but fuck it I could walk around my favorite locations and it felt like I'm in the show so I liked it.	2025/04/28

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